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Dick Tracy, 7/12/21

Oh, hey, remember when Dr. Ghost and Dr. Sail stole one of Diet Smith’s space coupes and Diet sent it careening off into deep space, and we all assumed the villains had suffocated, or maybe ate each other? Well, good (?) news: it seems they actually were crushed into pulp as they plunged ever deeper into Jupiter’s thick atmosphere, or — best case scenario, in terms of visuals — were blasted into pieces by some of the planet’s intense lightning storms.

Judge Parker, 7/12/21

Oh, hey, remember how Judge Parker Senior has spent the last several months moping around the house in a drunken fog? Well, good news! Now he’s in a much better mood, apparently because he’s traded in alcohol for some powerful stimulant.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/12/21

OH IS THAT HOW YOU REMEMBER IT, JUNE?

BECAUSE I REMEMBER WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHARITY BOOK TO BENEFIT THE ART MUSEUM TURNING INTO A BIG PAYDAY FOR YOUR FAMILY

GUESS WE’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO AGREE TO DISAGREE ON THIS ONE

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Family Circus, 7/5/21

Happy 4th of July (Observed), everybody! On this sacred holiday, I have some news for you: The Keane Kids are America. Jeffy, in particular, is America. Doing something the stupidest possible way, and initially everyone is horrified and embarrassed by you, but then you end up winning, even though you’ve broken all the rules and you don’t “technically” win and everyone things you’re an idiot, but you’ve still won in every way that matters? That’s America, to me, and I think it’s beautiful.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/5/12

OK, this is a twist that I did not see coming and I kind of love it? For Sarah, engaging in creative work wasn’t meant to be part of a path to fame and fortune! She merely hoped to egg others into creating their own work in a shared universe, producing a virtuous cycle in which we all have more content to enjoy! Thanks to the weird stasis of comic-book time, Sarah, who has been a child for literally decades, probably has a vague memory of the glory days of fanfic group blogs on LiveJournal or whatever, but now lives in a sterile world of hypermonetization that her old soul rejects.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/30/21

“Yes, full of surprises. Like remember when we made her start taking the bus to school so she’d get hit by a car and the resulting head injury would cleanse her brain of all memories and creative ambitions? Well, it looks like that didn’t work, so you’d better go find the trepanation drill.”

Mary Worth, 6/30/21

But … what about Drew’s coffees? I don’t have eyes on them but surely all this slapping can’t be good for keeping them upright! Ladies, please, be careful! Drew needs his morning java!