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Hi and Lois, 10/30/24

Never mind Trixie’s baby brain being incapable of parsing this metaphor. What kind of fool’s paradise have Hi and Lois been living in that they look so worried about the very notion of an investor looking to buy a house, do some perhaps superficial renovations to it fairly quickly, and then selling it for a healthy profit? Are you telling Lois that houses are, in addition to a place to live, a commodity and an investment vehicle as well? She’s been a realtor for years and this is the first she’s hearing about this.

Mary Worth, 10/30/24

The big and extremely predictable Mary Worth news is that Dr. Ed has agreed to take Estelle back or whatever. All they had to do is agree to give up things that they’re passionate about and instead rely entirely on one another for emotional validation. Can’t see anything going wrong with that plan!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/24

Oh, you’re telling me that Rex might respond to a naive, cute, and slightly gross question one of his kids poses by making him feel weird for ever asking it, and moreover will work to make sure that he keeps feeling weird for the rest of his life? Yeah, that tracks. Sarah might’ve gotten a touch of the amnesia, but she definitely remembers Rex’s whole deal.

Six Chix, 10/30/24

We all, of course, remember the fable of the tortoise and the hare. Well, what if the two title characters in that story explored each other’s bodies, sexually? Or at least thought about it?

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Crock, 10/25/24

Of all the characters in the comics, few are subject to as much indignity as Crock’s Grossie. I mean, forgetting the fact that she’s named “Grosse” and married to a guy named “Maggot,” we must also keep in mind that she’s a colonial subject, and while she’s usually depicted as fairly fiesty and independent, she is also, like her nation, under the heel of the French and must obey their whims. Not sure what’s worse for her here: that she had to participate in the operation of this sham restaurant that’s been set up as part of an elaborate bit about what a bad cook she is, or that she’s probably going to be killed by her own countrymen when they storm the fort, just because she’s in the way.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/25/24

Hey, remember when Wanda first showed up in this strip, as a waitress who was flirting with Mud Mountain Murphy, but then Mud turned out to be kind of an asshole who pretended to shit his pants on stage, so she hooked up with Truck instead, because he was her only other option? Well, now that Mud’s been brainwashed by a con artist, who accidentally made him a better person in the process, Wanda seems eager to get Mud back into her and Truck’s lives. What I’m saying is, I look forward to discovering if Rex Morgan, M.D., can make polyamory boring.

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Dick Tracy, 10/23/24

Dick Tracy has spent a lot of this week getting into the architectural history of Neo-Chicago and the state of local landmarked buildings. On the surface, this sounds like the sort of thing that I personally would be into, but it’s actually left me pretty cold. Maybe I’d feel differently if it were about public transit or something, but for now, I say: let’s wrap it up and bring on the officer-involved shootings!

Gil Thorp, 10/23/24

Please excuse a moment of football detective work. Yesterday’s Gil Thorp did not actually establish all the parameters of the game situation when the action depicted started, but we know this much:

• New Thayer was facing 4th and goal, and could “clinch the night” if they scored
• After Milford intercepted the ball, there was 3:15 left on the clock

To me, anyway, this implies that, by scoring a touchdown at that point, New Thayer would have gone far enough ahead that Milford would’ve needed to score twice to catch up; three minutes is plenty of time to put together a scoring drive, so if New Thayer were up by less than 9 after a potential touchdown, it wouldn’t make sense to say they’d clinched anything. That means Milford was losing (though only by a few points) before the interception we saw yesterday; and if Oscar Capp had run the ball back for a defensive touchdown, we probably would’ve heard about it, plus the excessive Mudlark celebration we saw seems pretty clearly to be happening midfield.

Today we learn that the final score of this game was Milford 10, New Thayer 7. Considering what we’ve already figured out, we can safely assume that, after the interception, Milford had to put together a scoring drive to win. (Presumably before the interception the score was New Thayer 7, Milford 3.) What I sincerely appreciate is that we have not been treated to any of the thrilling sports action of this fourth quarter comeback. Instead, we get Coach Hernandez yelling at the new kids for grandstanding, and everyone immediately submitting to his authority. That’s because Gil Thorp isn’t a strip about high school sports; it’s a strip about coaching high school sports. There’s a difference!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/23/24

Speaking of exciting things we don’t see, there was a little bit of a hint last week that Mud Mountain Murphy might be up to his old scene-stealing tricks as everyone got ready for his supporting role at Truck Tyler’s concert. But he didn’t! He did what he was supposed to, the show went great, everyone was happy. Thank goodness! I know you guys were stressed out about it.