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Crankshaft, 11/13/21

In one of the more jarring bits of Funkyverse visual shorthand, traditionally panels that are supposed to be flashbacks are depicted in sepia tones with corner tabs, as if they were in an old-timey photo album. This was true whether the action in question was supposed to be taking years before the main narrative or only weeks; today we keep the coloring but lose the corner tabs, so I guess this is supposed to represent a sepia-style Instagram filter or something. Anyway, remember those crazy days of March and April of 2020, when we were desperately trying not to shit? Crankshaft does! Maybe we just don’t usually seem him in profile, but in that second panel he’s looking much portlier than usual, and given the context I really don’t want to think about the implications.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/13/21

Speaking of the good old days, remember just a few weeks ago when we thought all these people might get blown up? Sadly, some guy we barely had time to get to know and dislike got blown up instead, so now instead of seeing Rex and June wading through a sea of carnage to use their medical skills to help the survivors get the hell out of dodge, we have to watch whatever this is happen instead.

Family Circus, 11/13/21

“And alone! You’re going to die in your messy room alone.”

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Dennis the Menace, 11/9/21

I guess the joke here is supposed to be that Dennis is misinterpreting a traditional bridal party as some sort of harem situation? But in fact since all the women on this TV are wearing different colored dresses, and none of them appear to be the bride, it’s actually pretty reasonable to assume that the Mitchells are watching The Bachelor or a The Bachelor-style reality romance show, which would make Dennis’s question not menacing at all but just a standard commentary on the nature of the TV program. Either way, I don’t appreciate the “Eh? Eh? Sex?” look that Henry is giving us.

Mary Worth, 11/9/21

Oh my God, it’s only Tuesday — it is, I can’t emphasize enough, only Tuesday — and already Wilbur is singing angrily yelling Justin Timberlake’s 2002 hit “Cry Me A River” at Estelle and her date, who appears to have frozen in place, hoping nobody will notice him. Only Tuesday! How will Estelle counter???

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/21

“Ah yes, ‘blue skies’ — our old, uncrackable code for all’s clear. Thank goodness for our military background so we can communicate in utter secrecy this way. Now let’s read the next sentence, which — ah. Hmm.”

Dick Tracy, 11/9/21

When your mind finally snaps, what gibberish sentence will you be vacantly pecking out on a typewriter, over and over? I was never sure until today, but now I know it’s going to be “My name is Sam Catchem. I ordered Volume Six of ‘Derby Dugan: The Geebus Years.’” And you know what? I’m at peace with that.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/5/21

Well, it looks like Griff’s loyalty to his old friend — who was, let’s be real, pretty rude to him when he made a perfectly polite offer to cut Jordan in on some murderous shenanigans for hire — is so intense that he’s willing to blow up the shadowy leader of the cabal he works for, which will probably have any number of negative implications for him professionally and personally in the near to medium term. I do sincerely hope that all this plays out with Jordan and Michelle none the wiser, and they head forward into their married life completely oblivious to the fact that they were almost involved in something interesting happening.

Mary Worth, 11/5/21

Oh hell yes, it’s going to be a karaoke-off for Estelle’s love! Wilbur may not have been able to defeat Zak at Matrix-style kung fu, but now we’re on Wilbur’s own favored turf: the world of song! Will he prevail this time? My guess is not, I think we all assume he’s really bad at singing, right? Libby knows the score.

Dustin, 11/5/21

Dustin’s mom has definitely learned well from her earlier attempt to make conversation with her husband, and now she’s just going to do her best to get through this dinner without talking or responding to him at all. Come on, just keep chewing, keep your eyes locked somewhere around his chin, you can do it, we all believe in you.