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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/27/21

Here’s the thing, folks: I spent a lot of brain power this week remembering the various Funkyverse familial relationships and it’s supposed to be a holiday, so I refuse to do the digging through my archives/mind palace necessary to determine whether Edward’s older sister is in fact Nancy — the One Designated Bad Rex Morgan Teen who does Bad Teen things like throwing superspreader parties and vandalizing mobsters’ cars — or is maybe just some other girl with similar hair. Anyway, it turns out that that despite Rex and June’s sigh of relief about Sarah’s non-fame, it turns out that becoming a new coauthor on a wildly successful series of children’s books does in fact spark curiosity, and if you have a big mouth about it Nancy (?) is going to blow your cover sooner or later.

Marvin, 11/27/21

Marvin has been doing a whole week about the title character hanging out with “Sirexa” (get it, it’s like Siri + Alexa!!!) and since we’re still in the Thanksgiving weekend here I’m going to go ahead and give thanks that, when the time came to do the hilarious joke about this digital assistant device eating, we did not discover the round opening at the top of its body to be an awful, jawless mouth, like a lamprey’s or something similarly unpleasant. We can’t see whatever no doubt nightmarish maw it’s now shoveling popcorn into, but at least we were spared that.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/23/21

I think it’s completely legit to say, “Hmm, when this strip’s child character sold a book for a lot of money to a museum somehow and then she and her baby sitter ended up as members of a brutal mob clan as a result, that was kind of weird; I want to do a book story but have it be more realistic.” I really don’t think you should keep drawing attention to the fact that you’re doing it, though? There is, I think, an extremely limited group of people who are thinking “Hmm, this is the second version of a book story they’ve done in this soap opera comic strip and it’s different from the one they did in 2014,” and I’m pretty sure all of them read this blog and are not looking to be told how to feel about it by a character in the strip. (They’re looking to be told how to feel about it by me, Josh Fruhlinger, the tastemaker of the funny pages! They should feel weird about it, in my opinion, in case that hasn’t been clear so far.)

Funky Winkerbean, 11/23/21

Sometimes I don’t remember characters or plotlines from long-running continuity strips, and while this might mean I’m not as good at my job (“job”) as I should be, it probably also makes me a healthier, more normal person who can preserve precious brainspace for other things, or so I keep telling myself. Anyway, I honestly have no real recollection of the Dinkles having a daughter named Halle, but I don’t think Harry does either, since his wife has to tell him what her name is and why she won’t be there for Thanksgiving. Of course, since “settlement school” refers to charitable institutions founded in Appalachia in the late 19th and early 20th centuries before public schools became available there, so I’m not sure what Harry’s wife is talking about with this “Italy” business. Maybe there’s no such thing as Halle! Maybe this is just two sad people with dementia talking to nonsense to each other! It would explain a lot, in Funky Winkerbean!

Mary Worth, 11/23/21

Oh my goodness, what kind of pet is Wilbur, in the depths of his self-pity, going to decide he deserves? A bird? A snake? A rock?

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Crankshaft, 11/13/21

In one of the more jarring bits of Funkyverse visual shorthand, traditionally panels that are supposed to be flashbacks are depicted in sepia tones with corner tabs, as if they were in an old-timey photo album. This was true whether the action in question was supposed to be taking years before the main narrative or only weeks; today we keep the coloring but lose the corner tabs, so I guess this is supposed to represent a sepia-style Instagram filter or something. Anyway, remember those crazy days of March and April of 2020, when we were desperately trying not to shit? Crankshaft does! Maybe we just don’t usually seem him in profile, but in that second panel he’s looking much portlier than usual, and given the context I really don’t want to think about the implications.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/13/21

Speaking of the good old days, remember just a few weeks ago when we thought all these people might get blown up? Sadly, some guy we barely had time to get to know and dislike got blown up instead, so now instead of seeing Rex and June wading through a sea of carnage to use their medical skills to help the survivors get the hell out of dodge, we have to watch whatever this is happen instead.

Family Circus, 11/13/21

“And alone! You’re going to die in your messy room alone.”