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Shoe, 4/11/12

I’m not really sure if the pharmacist in panel is telling Roz that her pills have gotten more expensive or that her dosage has been tripled, but, really, who cares? Roz sure doesn’t! She’s high as a kite! Abusing prescription drugs is awesome, that’s the important lesson here.

Hi and Lois, 4/11/12

I guess Trixie in panel two is supposed to have an “I’m sad because I’m sick” face, but honestly to me it really just looks like it’s an “I’m sad because of what’s in my thought balloon” face. “I can’t even walk yet! I’m such a failure! I can’t coast by on a being a cute baby with stupid hair forever, I need to achieve independent mobility!”

Judge Parker, 4/11/12

“And why should he? I mean, there’s no possible conflict of interest in an elected official taking an extravagant gift from a foreign national who’s heavily involved in several murder attempts in his jurisdiction, after all!”

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Hagar the Horrible, 4/7/12

Hagar has spent so many years engaged in brutal warfare that he no longer understands how to behave in conventional social situations, and crowds trigger attacks of PTSD.

Shoe, 4/7/12

The Perfesser is either too lazy to open gifts or too jaded to feel the brief anticipatory joy one usually experiences while doing so, and now just demands to be told what they are before he bothers to remove the wrapping paper.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/7/12

The chickens of Hootin’ Holler, like their human counterparts, suffer from significant genetic abnormalities.

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Shoe, 4/4/12

If your job was to draw the sad, slouched-over bird-men of Shoe cracking wise every day of your life (your life which lasts forever, due to some deal you made with the devil ages ago), would you maybe get a little bored? Maybe to spice things up a bit, you would draw things from the perspective of some scuttling creature, one that clings to the ceiling, looking down on the bird-man as he sits way too close to the TV but leans in closer to watch it anyway. Then the creature drops down on the floor, and you can see that it’s no mere insect, it’s enormous, tall enough to look the bird-man right in the eyes, right in those sad, weary eyes. “Oh, hello,” the bird-man says, resigned to his no doubt gruesome fate. “I’ve been expecting you.”

Mary Worth, 4/4/12

“Still, while we may have left our youth behind, I’ve still got plenty of manly chest hair, right? Right? Want me to pull at my shirt so you can see a bit more of it? Yes? No?”