Archive: Six Chix

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Gil Thorp, 11/4/21

The … B? C? … plot of the fall Gil Thorp storyline is that star running back Chance Macy isn’t really interested in the enticements of the many colleges trying to recruit him, which is definitely perplexing everyone around him, including Boyd, who graciously offers to YouTube-hypnotize Chance with a little flashlight into making him want a full college scholarship and also a debilitating series of concussions, but Chance values his free will just a little too much. Meanwhile, it turns out that the faculty member buying into Boyd’s hypnosis theories is the one you’d least expect: Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp, who’s attempting to plant post-hypnotic suggestions into Kiana so that whenever she sees an opponent with a ball in their hands, she’ll fly into a murderous rage and do anything to get it back. Will that actually be helpful for winning volleyball games? Ultimately that’s for the referee to decide, but it seems worth a shot.

Six Chix, 11/4/21

I guess this lady … thinks these butterflies are angels? And that’s why they’re asking if she’s got problems with her eyes? Because she’s not seeing them for what they are, which is butterflies, and also demons straight from the bowels of hell? This has been “Josh tries and fails to interpret today’s Six Chix,” I thank you for your time and attention.

Hi and Lois, 11/4/21

Oh, man, check out Hi’s facial expression in panel two. Lois may not know how dumb their infant daughter is, but Hi is clearly all too aware of the limits of his son’s mental ambitions.

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Mary Worth, 10/27/21

I hate to ever use the phrase “I would respect Wilbur more” so let’s just say that I would respect Wilbur a very small albeit still measurable amount more if he actually used iMovie or something to create a slideshow of his favorite Estelle pics with “their song” (which, lest you forget, is about a couple in a long-term committed relationship who both plan to cheat and ended up connecting with each other via a personal ad, and this turns them on) as soundtrack for him to watch while he tries to get in touch with his true emotional state. Wilbur is something of a tech whiz, having once tried and failed to get Mary into social media, but I still assume this is just Estelle’s Facebook profile pic expanded to full screen (she hasn’t blocked him yet) and the music is coming from his beloved shower radio, which he’s propped up behind his laptop.

Six Chix, 10/27/21

“Turns out he said ‘trick or treat,’ which obviously makes more sense in context, and now I’ve freaked him out. Why am I like this?”

Hi and Lois, 10/27/21

Hi and Lois is an old-fashioned strip that unashamedly embraces old-fashioned values. That’s why the title characters’ teenage son still refers to their neighbor as “Mister,” even when he’s passed out drunk in their living room.

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Judge Parker, 10/24/21

OK, I just want to establish a few facts here. The reason Abbey is so upset is that, now that the mayor is publicly accusing her of insurance fraud, the whole town is turning against her and she got yelled at when she went up to the local Starbucks or equivalent. And yet look at what’s in our heroes’ hands: it’s Sam who’s drinking out of a paper to-go cup while Abbey is using a regular coffee mug she probably got out of the cabinet. In other words, even though she’s filthy rich, she’s happy to just drink drip coffee from the machine in her kitchen, while Sam insists that he simply must have his daily half-caf mocha frappuccino or whatever put together by a barista for $9. So, isn’t he the real villain here, for making Abbey brave the hostile public so he could get his dumb caffeine milkshake? I mean, Abbey sucks, but let’s not let that distract us from the ways that Sam also sucks.

Six Chix, 10/24/21

Keeping you up to date on “Six Chix is occasionally good in an opaque and baffling way” news: Today’s Six Chix is good, in an opaque and baffling way. Ha ha, the tunnel is full of fish! She won’t even be able to navigate her little rowboat in there, because it’s packed so full of fish! What a delight.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/24/21

“Plus people find you weird and off-putting. They don’t want to be around you and definitely don’t want you at their wedding!”