Post Content

Slylock Fox, 3/10/17

OK, Slylock Fox, here’s something I’d like to unscramble: how exactly was that sausage made, and from whom? Are bovines convicted of simple assault punished by being killed then ground into delicious all-beef links? Are pig musicians who fail to entertain paying customers due to technical difficulties ground into chorizo by their angry audiences?

I also want to point out that our hungry sausage thief is a rabbit, a representative of a purely vegetarian species, and that the similarly herbivorous moose in the background seems keenly interested as well. Then there’s Slylock’s indulgent smile, a far cry from his usual attitude towards petty theft, and the rabbit’s nudity. Perhaps the Transformation that turns an ordinary animal into a sapient citizen of the New Order involves taking a bite of cooked flesh. Perhaps Slylock has gone out into the still wild forest to do some recruiting.

Mary Worth, 3/10/17

It’s never been exactly clear how old Iris is supposed to be, but with a mid-20s son and a mid-20s ex-boyfriend, I’ve assumed that she’s roughly my age, i.e., in her early to mid 40s. Today’s strip confirms that suspicious with the revelation that she’s bumped the typeface on her laptop up to like a zillion-point font, which is what I did for about four years before I finally admitted I needed glasses. I got bifocals a few months ago and it literally felt like I had been faith-healed! I strongly feel that Iris should follow my lead here. I know some people don’t like to get them because they think it makes them look old, but she’s obviously contemplating getting back together with Wilbur, so clearly that’s not an issue.

By the way, if the image of Wilbur wandering around Brazil asking random people in broken Portugese (or probably shouting in English, actually) “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much should you not be alive?” doesn’t make you smile, probably we shouldn’t be friends.

Six Chix, 3/10/17

Oh no, this poor hunchback lady’s son has fallen in with a “bad crowd” of local child-demons! That’s what this strip is about, right? Children who are also devils, from the bowels of hell? Ha … ha?

Post Content

Mark Trail, 3/5/17

“Despite similar appearances, toucans and hornbills are not related! I mean, they’re both birds, but other than that! So, basically, fuck hornbills! We’re not even going to discuss them or show you a picture beyond that shadowy figure in the first panel! No, it’s all about toucan facts, bitches! Toucans! Toucans! Toucans! Toucans!”

Family Circus, 3/5/17

Mommy and daddy are relying on the fact that the Keane Kids can’t spell words like E-S-C-A-P-E and A-B-A-N-D-O-N-M-E-N-T. It sure seems like Sam the dog can, though! “Take me with you,” he begs.

Six Chix, 3/5/17

Only one participant in the polyamorous multispecies throuple that’s being arranged here looks excited about things, and it’s not the lady or the bear!

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 1/24/17

Oh dear! So the only “molly” Aaron Aargard is addicted to is his girlfriend Molly O’Herlihy, and we mean “addicted to” here to mean “in an emotionally healthy relationship with, which includes shared interests like electronic dance music.” So you’d think this would wrap up this idiotic plot, but nope, we’re not even done with January so we can’t start playing baseball yet. That means that Brown & Granger: The Overhearers have a mystery on their hands! A mystery they’re going to solve whether Coach Thorp wants them to or not! I’m actually not sure where this is going to go, because both possible directions fit in with Gil Thorp’s storytelling aesthetics: there could be some dumb “secret” non-sports-related reason for Aaron’s inconsistency, because this strip loves big, implausible reveals, but they could also just end up diagnosing his problems entirely on the court, because the strip loves plots where non-Gil people engage in unpaid assistant coaching.

Six Chix, 1/24/17

“And now let’s run like hell. That thing is as big as we are! Jesus Christ, the birds are out for revenge!”