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Spider-Man, 4/21/08

Behold … the VULTURE! The latest in the rogue’s gallery of sinister, inhuman supervillains to plague the newspaper strip version of Spider-Man, the Vulture terrifies us with his powers … or, um, menacing costume … uh, actually, he just appears to be some ordinary dude in jail mumbling vague threats of vengeance. Since this is Spider-Man, the prison guard is threatening him with the ultimate act of torture: the withdrawal of television privileges.

Blondie, 4/21/08

Attention Amalgamated Blondie Humor Industries LLC: if you are going to do a close-up on one of your characters, as you do in panel three here, please actually draw the character in close-up, rather than just increasing the scale of their face in Photoshop. Otherwise it looks strange and disturbing.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/21/08

Any public official will tell you that there comes a time in a town hall meeting when the thread is simply lost, never to be found again. Rex Morgan, M.D.’s MRSA meeting has hit that point, as angry townsfolk begin to demand that the county health commission bring their loved ones back from the dead.

Pluggers, 4/21/08

Pluggers have no idea what an enormous pain in the ass they are to everyone around them.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/16/08

We’re still in the opening salvos of this Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline, so it’s all deliriously wonderful and such. Don’t worry, it’ll get boring and stupid soon enough, and then I’ll complain about it for a bit until I just start ignoring it completely; but when that day comes, I hope I’ll take some solace in the thought that any plot that contained both Rex’s snide complaint about the common people’s filthy, filthy noses and a bearded, vested man bellowing HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT can’t possibly have been all bad.

Spider-Man, 4/16/08

The “bad news” Peter Parker warned us about yesterday turns out to be even less superhero-related than usual for this strip. Still, since Peter continually (and some might say passive-aggressively) fails whenever he tries to leave the house to support MJ’s career, you’d think that he’d be pleased by this news. “You mean I can watch your movie right here at home, on the TV? Yes!”

Marvin, 4/16/08

Panel two of today’s Marvin may be the lowest point the art form of comics has achieved to date. It isn’t helped by the fact that the dogs are incongruously standing on their hind legs and towering over Marvin, making them look less like dogs and more like people in dog suits. Urine-soaked dog suits.

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Dick Tracy, 4/12/08

Many have complained that Chief Liz has been relegated to the typical hapless female victim role in the current insane Dick Tracy storyline, despite being, you know, the actual chief of police. Today, she gamely tries her hand at Tracy-style crime fighting by attempting to actually rip the villain’s face off of the front of his skull. She is soon neutralized by a well-place elbow to the chin, but, hey, points for giving it a go.

The Phantom, 4/12/08

Liz needs to take some tips from our lady cop/waitress pair if she really wants to know how to take down a baddie, though: pump hot lead into him, then taunt him as he lies bleeding at your feet. The Ghost Who Only Hires Sadists has a slight smile, indicating that Kay and Hawa have at last passed the callousness threshold needed to enter the Jungle Patrol.

Family Circus, 4/12/08

“Didn’t they know you were a girl, and thus should only have been educated to the extent necessary for child-rearing and food preparation?”

And a couple of fun panels for you:

Panel from Spider-Man, 4/12/08

I wish we could get to see the proceedings of New York State Superior Court, Bribery Division, in which a jury will determine if Simon Krandis can, in fact, buy his way out of prison. Certainly it would be more interesting than the three weeks of Peter Parker whining and watching TV that we’re actually going to get.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/12/08

Among the small but very enthusiastic group holding a pretty specific fetish, today will go down in history as The Day June Morgan Ate A Cheeseburger With Her Big Sexy Teeth. Rex looks miffed that nobody wants to see a close-up of him pecking away at his spinach salad.