Post Content

Slylock Fox, 2/6/17

“Kooky?” That’s the adjective you choose for Count Weirdly? “Kooky?” This is a man who’s brainwashes his sapient serpent sidekick so completely that she willingly commits her unborn babies to his cause, turning them into living booby traps and condemning them to a life of crime from the moment they hatch into the world! Look at her face — she’s positive thrilled to watch her newborns kill, and possibly die, to serve Count Weirdly. So yeah, I think I’d go with “history’s greatest monster” rather than “kooky,” thanks very much.

Spider-Man, 2/6/17

“You know … people who love you, who care about whether you live or die. Emotional ties to others that complicate your decisions, especially when it comes to risking your life. It’s a real situation, you know? A real situation.”

Post Content

Spider-Man, 1/31/17

Panel three of today’s Spider-Man is most definitely a portrait of a guy who barely understood what was just said to him in panel two. “Carved images, huh? From … ancestral Pueblo peoples, you say? I guess they carve … images … of things they see … that are interesting? Could they carve Ronan? If you say ‘ancestral,’ does that mean they’re not still around? So they couldn’t carve anything? Or maybe they are still around but they don’t carve images anymore? At least I know that there are exactly 24,000 of them. I’m real solid on that.”

Funky Winkerbean, 1/31/17

I’m not sure how I would describe a clinic where a bored medical tech who isn’t even bothering to make eye contact with you says that your scan looks “very good” right before giving you vague information about ways in which it looks extremely not good and then leaving you twisting in the wind until your next doctor’s appointment who knows how many days from now, but “super” isn’t it! Are these the same people who sent Funky bad prostate cancer news via m-mail eight years ago? Back then he greeted the bad news with heavy-lidded ennui; today we’re approaching genuine panic. That jolt of adrenaline lets you know you’re alive, Funky! You know, for now.

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/19/17

Hey, remember Buck? No, not the sexy, homeless archaeology grad student who was camping out on the Morgans’ property so he could investigate some ancient war crime; no, I mean Rex’s old pal whose wife tried to murder him with a nail gun and then later it turned out said wife was Rex’s ex-girlfriend from high school and it seems I didn’t cover the end of this storyline so I’m not sure how it all worked out? I think Buck broke up with his wife, though! But based on his set role as the strip’s sad sack, I’m going to assume that he’s gotten himself deep into some depressing ponzi scheme and he’s trying to pull Rex in as well. Haha, look at Rex’s eye’s glazing over and soon as Buck starts his pitch!

Spider-Man, 1/19/17

Welp, Rocket’s only been on our planet for a few hours, but he’s already well acclimated to the Spidey Way Of Heroism, i.e., doing a half-assed job for a little bit and then dozing off. It’s also worth noting that Rocket was originally wearing an adorable little outfit and now he’s … stark naked? I guess a naked raccoon shouldn’t be disturbing but when you’re established as wearing clothes even if you’re a species that doesn’t normally wear clothes, once you take off your clothes you’re naked, that’s the rule. The fact that Peter and MJ are fully dressed isn’t helping.

Gasoline Alley, 1/19/17

Meanwhile, Gertie continues to test the waters to figure out when Walt will finally be senile enough that he’ll voluntarily drink Drāno.