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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/4/11

Oh, look, it’s a new Rex Morgan villain with comical facial hair. I really like the last panel. You can tell that the artist thought it best to only extend our wheelman’s mustache a bit below his lower lip, but the colorist took matters into his or her own hands. “Dude clearly doesn’t do anything halfway, and that Fu Manchu has to go all the way to his jawline. Photoshop, don’t fail me now!”

Mary Worth, 3/4/11

Yes, most of us would be pretty startled to discover that our reflections were not actually reflecting what we were doing. Dawn’s probably worried that she’s suffering a psychotic break, but maybe in her social networking frenzy she just forgot that that isn’t a mirror at all, but a huge monitor displaying the current DawnCam.com feed. Right now it’s repeating activity from earlier in the night, but her paid subscribers don’t need to know that.

Jumble, 3/4/11

I’m always too dumb to actually solve the Jumble, but I don’t need to today because the answer is obviously “a snow bank.” Now just to fill in the circles and … hey, wait a minute … DAMN YOU JUMBLE!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/4/11

So … being a lawyer in Hootin’ Holler involves throwing rocks at people? Yeah, that sounds about right, actually.

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B.C., 2/8/11

The reasons why the various human and animal characters of B.C. exist and each have their iron-clad associated schtick are now lost in the mists of time. One thing I’ve always found striking is that the ants always get the jokes most closely associated with the heterosexual nuclear family. This is odd because, out of all the creatures great and small who inhabit the strip, ants have by far the freakiest sex lives. Can you imagine the weird dramatic possibilities of actual ant family life, which starts when a newborn queen flies off with a host of her brothers, all of whom mate with her and then almost immediately die, and the queen spends the next several decades giving birth to her sister-children, who toil as her slaves? It would certainly be more compelling than these two talking about divorce plans or whatever.

Jumble, 2/8/11

Good lord, I’ve seen few expressions more sinister than the one on that vet’s face as he gently pets that champion pup. What are his nefarious plans for it? You might say he has a “CONNECTION TO A SINISTER UNDERGROUND DOG ORGAN TRAFFICKING RING.”

Funky Winkerbean,2/8/11

Oh, hey, it’s been weeks since someone’s life was destroyed in Funky Winkerbean! Here the strip manages to pull of a nice bit of double destruction: Summer’s dreams of basketball glory are figuratively shattered, because the inner workings of her knee are literally shattered. If only we could see the horrified faces of the crowd as they hear that sickening pop!

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Family Circus, 2/1/11

The thing I love about this Family Circus is how damn smug Jeffy looks. I’d like to believe it’s because he knows how stupid his brother’s chronological blather is, but you and I both know that Jeffy doesn’t have the brains God gave a bowling ball, so I’m guessing he’s probably anticipating dropping some of this hilariously misguided knowledge on his playmates, who will mock him mercilessly for it.

Jumble, 2/1/11

Is that one of the Simons from Simon and Simon, delivering the mail? He sure has come down pretty far in the world, which is probably why he’s thrusting those letters at this poor sap so angrily. Simon doesn’t care that you just inherited this house from your beloved mother and that those bills with her name on them break your heart, OK? Simon’s gotta work overtime to get his boat out of hock.

Panel from Mark Trail, 2/1/11

“…you see we are working on a story together … oh dear, my head appears to be stretching and melting like taffy. I think that means the mescaline is kicking in! I’ll talk to you both later!“