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Wizard of Id, 5/17/11

One wonders why today’s Wizard of Id, having annotated with blunt-force onomatopoeia actions in the first two panels that would have been easily parsed as drawn without explanation, then goes on in panel three to illustrate … something … with a series of mysterious radiating lines. Are these supposed to represent light — a glow from within the bathroom, along the lines of the nuclear whatsit in Kiss Me Deadly, or a more abstract representation of the gargoyle’s shocking ugliness? Do they indicate sound, perhaps the gargoyle’s inarticulate shrieking? Or, considering that the magical beast has been interrupted on the toilet, maybe they’re stink lines? They’re stink lines, aren’t they? Since that’s the grossest possible answer, I’m going to assume that’s the case.

Apartment 3-G, 5/17/11

My favorite part of this strip is not the fact that Paul caught the bouquet (although it does make one smile to imagine his bridesmaids’ dresses, just as hideous in design as the one Lu Ann has on now, only they’re the same hideous orange creamsicle color as his suit), but all the single ladies flailing wildly about in the background, a full ten yards from anywhere the bouquet could have possibly landed. It’s like they’ve all been turned off marriage forever by the horrorshow before them, but feel they need to participate in this antiquated patriarchal ritual, for appearance’s sake.

The Lockhorns, 5/17/11

Who says the Lockhorns is out of touch? It takes someone with a near anthropological understanding of the nuances of modern American life to grasp the distinction between a “dude” and a “bro.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/17/11

Gosh, it looks like the whole rest of the week is going to be dedicated to the funeral of poor cuzzin Travis. Today, the town preacher implies in front of Travis’s whole family that he’s being tortured forever, in hell!

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You guys! You are I hope aware of [Citation Needed], the Wikipedia-themed Tumblr to which I contribute! You will probably also be aware of the associated podcast put out by mad genius Conor Lastowka. Well, I am in the most recent episode, talkin’ about the Wizard of Id! You will want to have a listen, I think.

Oh, and hey, it’s time for your comment of the week, of course!

“‘Script Westview’ is also known by another name: ‘Comic Sans Happiness.'” –Mibbitmaker

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Why is Constance’s nose growing? She hasn’t even denied killing Jackie yet!” –Chyron HR

“I used to fly kites when I was a kid and things were simpler. And you’re, like, ten now, right? I lose track of these things.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“How about this: ‘You’re a plugger if you think every aspect of your life is somehow more folksy and significant than everyone else’s.'” –Frank Lee Meidere

“I wish they would just end Ziggy and Pluggers. Both strips are played out, tired, and constantly recycling the same jokes. At least combine them into a single strip. I mean, Ziggy’s pets are already sentient and he’s, what, some kind of human-sloth hybrid, right? The caption for today’s Zuggers could read, ‘Zuggers talk to their pets like they’re people because actual people will have nothing to do with them.’ Alternatively, in Pliggy, the gas pump could be saying something insulting like ‘Prices are always going up, dipshit,’ or ‘Your ass already has plenty of gas.'” –Effluvius Erratus

“And with a triumphant and horrible cry, Mary Worth bursts out of Wilbur’s chest. ‘It was not this bloated oaf, whose maggoty flesh I have worn these last three weeks, but I who did devise this glorious, meddlesome scheme, I who saved dopey Dawn from the accursed Internet!’ At which point matters take a somewhat nasty turn.” –new_squid_in_town

“Now that is some goggle eyed horror! The Shoe artists must be used to the typical amounts of goggle-eyed-ness, and, like a heroin addict craving a fix, must be amping the goggle eyes to a ridiculous and potentially lethal level in order to just feel human.” –Conor

“‘I don’t know, Max — that just doesn’t “wring” true.’ My work here is done.” –Pozzo

Spider-Man: “The city is being terrorized — terrorized, I say — by a vampire with bad posture, split ends, and a propensity for hugs. Somewhere an emo band is wondering with ironic detachment where its lead singer has gotten to.” –Esther Blodgett

“Isn’t Lureen weeping at the sight of Loweezy’s wattle-scrotum-thingy? Lord knows, that’s what I’d do.” –Oregonian

“‘Didn’t Dag get the memo?’ It’s 2011 and he’s wearing a bowtie and a robin-egg blue trenchcoat — safe to say Dag has missed a lot of memos.” –R in CT

“‘Hobo tramp’ is not to be confused with Hobotramp, the Supertramp tribute band whose members are all homeless.” –frippy

“Well, he’s either Santa, God, or Aqualung. I like those odds!” –Chyron HR

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here to learn more about advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon.

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Dennis the Menace, 3/2/11

No matter what your opinion of Dennis Mitchell’s ability to install fear via menacing, you have to admit that he’s generally speaking one of the comics’ less introspective characters. Thus, this little scene is actually kind of poignant. He’s too old to menace people Marvin-style by crapping in his drawers, and too young to slap on some Drakkar Noir and menace the ladies with his aggressive adolescent sexuality. So he just looks glumly at his half-eaten cookie. Is this all there is? Cookies? Man, this is no kind of life.

Mary Worth, 3/2/11

It’s come to my attention that some of you don’t know who Iris is. Iris is Wilbur’s girlfriend, so you may have “forgotten” about her in the sense that your brain, in a vain attempt to make the world make sense, refuses to store the words “Wilbur’s” and “girlfriend” next to each other. Anyway, it’s pretty rich that Iris is waxing about how she eventually learned she had to let li’l Tommy out of the nest, because, of course, this is the sort of decision Tommy made on his own:

The world famous Tommy the Tweaker storyline was the very first Mary Worth plot covered on this blog, and if you missed it it’s totally worth your while to start here and work your way forward. Long story short, I think we all know now that Dawn is building an illicit Twitter lab in her room, and we’re on a collision course with heartbreak and/or wackiness.

Wizard of Id, 3/2/11

Hey, remember yesterday, when the Wizard of Id made no sense but at least didn’t involve eating cockroaches? God, I long for that more innocent time.