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Ziggy, 12/5/08

OK, a confession to get out of the way right off the bat: I laughed, more or less involuntarily, at today’s Ziggy. There, I said it. Not being accustomed to such a reaction, I lingered over the panel for a bit and noticed that “such as it is” on the punchline-sign is in a very different style of handwriting than the text above it — it’s scrawled in a slapdash fashion. Is this mean to indicate that “THIS IS YOUR PARK” is an official notice from Ziggy’s municipality, but “such as it is” is meant to be a graffito of some sort? If so, this reduces the humor content of the strip considerably, as insulting and/or aggressive placards issued by some faceless authority are about the only recurring element in Ziggy that I find tolerable. But then I thought up another scenario: what if the space below “THIS IS YOUR PARK” had originally been left blank by the strip’s artist, who couldn’t think of the right joke put in there, and then he went on some kind of day-long drinking binge, and stumbled back to his drawing board, and at last had an epiphany that yes, “such as it is” was perfect, it would even make the Comics Curmudgeon laugh, that smug asshole, what does he know? And sure, what with the booze the writing came out kind of wonky, but it was true, it did make the Comics Curmudgeon laugh, huzzah! Huzzah for alcohol!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/5/08

Snuffy has bludgeoned one of his many rivals in the lucrative Hootin’ Holler meth trade to death with a frozen chicken. As in the Roald Dahl short story “Lamb to the Slaughter,” he disposes of the gruesome evidence by cooking it up for dinner. However, whereas Dahl’s story traffics in simple irony (the murder weapon is fed to the police investigating the crime), Barney Google and Snuffy Smith goes deeper (not that you would expect anything less): the killer chicken is fed to the local man of God, who is moreover told after the fact of his complicity in the terrible crime. How will the parson keep preaching the good word from the pulpit, knowing the atrocities that he’s participated in?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/5/08

Who’s up for another several weeks of June Morgan being sexily cruel to the help? [Raises hand] Me! Me! I am!

Pluggers, 12/5/08

Pluggers will make up a lot of crazy nonsense sayings to justify the fact that they’re generally too hung over to get to work on time.

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Six Chix, 11/20/08

As there seems to be some confusion over the meaning of this cartoon among this blog’s commentors, allow me to explain: our current economic crisis, the author posits, has the same roots as previous crises, and had we only remembered the lessons of history, we would have been able to avoid it. The two young ladies symbolize us, their falling asleep in their history class (presumably collegiate and taking place in a large lecture hall, the doors to which are at the right of the panel) represents our inability to learn from the past, and their barrel-wearing state represents poverty, the end result of the current crisis. The last bit is true because people who are clothed only by large, wooden barrels are a Universal Comics Symbol For Poverty of long standing.

I’m completely uninterested in discussing the didactic content of this cartoon, but it does bring up a question I’ve always found completely fascinating, which is: why are large, wooden barrels the Universal Comics Symbol For Poverty? I mean, I know I’m a decadent 21st century denizen who has grown accustomed to wearing garments that in relative terms cost very little, thanks to helpful Southeast Asian children with tiny, nimble fingers — certainly less than a finely crafted barrel. But is it possible that there was a time when a sturdy, wooden barrel with metal … circular dealies … that hold it together (boy, I hadn’t realized how weak a grasp I had of basic barrel vocabulary until just now) was actually cheaper than, you know, clothes? Did people really go into some kind of old-timey second-hand clothes store, sell all of their clothes (including the ones they were wearing), then walk, stark naked, up the street to the cooper (see, there’s a word that I know) to buy a barrel to wear, and have enough cash left over to afford life’s necessities? Did that happen? Because if not then, you know, barrels, what the hell?

Apartment 3-G, 11/20/08

A lot of people excuse the things they say or do when drunk by claiming that the demon booze made you say or do them; but when you’re intoxicated, you really just yourself, with less of a filter. This should make however many “Margo expounds drunkenly” strips we’re going to be treated to utterly delicious. Today, we learn that Margo really resents having to identify corpses, especially the corpses of people that she didn’t get a chance to kill, and that she believes that the intensity of your feelings about a tragedy are directly proportional to your proximity to the location where it occurred.

Ziggy, 11/20/08

Oh, Ziggy! It does seem unjust that the author of a beloved and hugely successful series of novel should get so much more money than the creator of a beloved somewhat tolerable bald pantsless cartoon character, doesn’t it?

Some of you have mocked this panel for being so far behind the times, to which I say: it’s Ziggy. The last Harry Potter book came out only fifteen months ago. This is in fact shockingly current.

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Crankshaft, 10/29/08

Good lord, is there a more menacing sight than Crankshaft’s hateful old face framed by a sinister black cloud rolling in from nowhere? This is no mere cantankerous old grump; he’s clearly some kind of winter-demon, determined to turn our beautiful country into an icy hell to inspire what passes for delight in his frozen lump of heart by calling down all manner of sleet and snow with his dark powers. Expect our frigid nightmare to continue until the ’Shaft decides that scorching summer heat might provide a better backdrop to his cranky, malapropistic wit.

Hi and Lois, 10/29/08

Sure, laugh all you want at Hi for not trying to use any search terms that might actually be helpful — the gentleman’s home town, his job, that sort of thing — but in his defense, sharing that sort of information is really frowned upon at anonymous sex parties, which I suppose is why they call them anonymous sex parties.

Ziggy, 10/29/08

It seems like there’s a sub-prime joke here trying to get out, but heck, let’s give the comic credit for trying. Ha ha, Ziggy’s flower is dying!