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GUYS, I have to apologize, I know I have been behind on contacting people who gave to the fundraiser to thank them and get them their tote bag — it’s been a week, lemme tell you. You are all lovely, patient people, and I’ll be in touch next week, I promise!

Meanwhile, it’s that time of the month again, that time being a week before the first Friday of next month, and that means I get to remind you that my live LA comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, is happening next week, and it’s gonna be hilarious!

Check out the Facebook event, if you know what’s good for you!

What’s good for everyone, of course, is the comment of the week:

CARROT MUFFINS: NOT EVEN ONCE” –Windier E. Megatons, on Twitter

The runners up? Also truly great!

“Hell is dealing with Mary Worth while hungover.” –Jon Bennett, on Facebook

“The dog man of Pluggers must to go to dangerous lengths to find a portion of the utility pole that hasn’t been scent-marked by his fellows.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“I don’t think Crankshaft will find it that hard to choose a side. ‘Hey, kids! Let me drive you to school in my Taxi Scab!’” –Peanut Gallery

“So is Snuffy listing the various indicators of canine unhealth just for kicks, or is he building up to ‘…so what I’m sayin’ is, nobody would miss that dog an’ I ain’t been able to steal a chicken fer weeks.’” –Ekudamram

“[black and white images of Cookie moving through a parade crowd] What it all comes down to / Is that everything is going to be quite alright / ‘Cause I’ve got pork chops in my pocket / And shoulder hair that smells like cigarettes” –Dan

“Sure, Spidey, tell the woman who was saving your life for a few weeks to ‘Stay put’ while you go grab the guy who is cleverly managing to use the monster’s strength to break his chains. Looking forward to see how you take all the credit!” –matt w

“How is Honeymoon (really? Honeymoon?) going to be a cop when she appears to be a walking EMP generator. Every time her stupid antenna spark, she’ll kill radio comms. ‘This is Unit 10… [squelch] we have two… [squeal] with heavy weap… [crackle] at the [static] … up now!’ Of course, on the plus side, she’s her own taser.” –Voshkod

“The kid has a human on his leash, doesn’t he?” –nescio

“Social status in Hootin’ Holler is based on the quality of the trash your children play with.” –TheDiva

“Blondie has offered the daily sacrifice to Dagwood’s appetite. Will she be back before he finishes it and devours their children to satisfy the dark, cold void within him? Tune in Monday to find out!” –Dread

“‘I will come home to you and Charlotte,’ she says menacingly.” –Left Nut

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! And as ever, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
  • Oh hey, and don’t forget, I wrote a book! You can get it in hardcover, paperback or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.

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Hi and Lois, 9/29/17

I actually find the art in today’s second Hi and Lois panel perfect and exquisite. What could be a harsher contrast to the noble, silent, straight-trunked tree that’s been growing industriously in the yard for the past 16 years? Why, the average American teen: hunched over, shirt slovenly and wrinkled, hat turned to the side for no earthly reason, a long line of slobber dribbling down from his slack-jawed face as he gulps milk right from the carton in front of the fridge. It makes one question where we went wrong as a people, and also makes one look back approximately 1.6 billion years, when the plant and animal lineages diverged, to find the answer.

Blondie, 9/29/17

Ha ha, it’s funny because Blondie has a demanding full-time job, and yet is also expected to perform all the traditionally feminine domestic and emotional labor required to maintain a household!

Judge Parker, 9/29/17

CHANGE DOT ORG PETITION FOR JUDGE PARKER TO FOCUS ENTIRELY ON APRIL AND HER ANTI-CIA WOMEN’S PRISON GANG FROM HERE ON IN

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Family Circus, 9/28/17

I have no clear idea of what emotion Kittycat’s expression is supposed to denote, but it seems extremely sinister to me. “Ha ha, yes, I will keep purring, fool! For you shall seek but never find! There is no ‘it’ to discover! You’ll be pleasurably rubbing my fur with that stethoscope … forever! MU HA HA HA!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/28/17

Clearly the powers-that-be at Rex Morgan have introduced this hideous, just-out-of-frame “dog” to distract us from the true horror — that Fox News personality Sean Hannity has donned a blond wig and is moonlighting as “Sarah’s friend from school.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/28/17

Ahhhh, life in Hootin’ Holler: the cargo cult keeps updating, but these folks are still as far from being able to participate in advances of modern civilization as ever!