Post Content

Hi and Lois, 9/12/17

The first thought I had reading this strip is that a bunch of cookies melted into one big cookie in the microwave sounds amazing. Then I realized the great thing about being an adult: you can do this whenever you want, not because you’re engaged in some child-lawyering with an authority figure, but because it sounds amazing.

Gil Thorp, 9/12/17

Oh, say, what’s going in panel three here? Not much, just Gil and Kaz checking out the spreadsheet where they’re keeping the baseline information on their football players’ cognitive functioning, so they can figure out at the end of the season who amongst them had their brains turned to goo by repeated blows to the head. Wowing the guys down at the Elks Club with your fidget spinner tricks doesn’t sound like such a bad deal now, does it Rick?

Mary Worth, 9/12/17

“I’m a good listener! For instance, I can easily tell from your ellipses and strange emphasis that this ‘friend’ is really you, and you’ve managed to get yourself into a hilariously terrible personal situation, again. What I’m saying, dear, is: proceed.”

Post Content

Shoe, 9/11/17

One of the main things I will remembered for long after my death is coining the term “nephewism,” which now has its own TV Tropes entry, and basically describes a common trope where the protagonist is cared for by an aunt and/or uncle with no actual parents around. Sometimes this is mined for creative backstory once the world of the strip has been established (as in the case for Spider-Man, which is what I made up the word to describe); other times, as in Shoe, it mainly serves to graft a younger character into the world of an established one without having to create a sexual life for the latter. Who are Skyler’s parents? How long has he lived with his Uncle Cosmo, who clearly barely tolerates him? We haven’t gotten much information on the rest of the Fishhawk family, which is why the Perfesser’s mention of his grandfather (Skyler’s great-grandfather) is kind of poignant. “Yep, grandpa used to lure fish into the boat by keeping his mouth filled with worms, which sounds disgusting but it’s not, because we’re birds! As birds, we’re actually pretty well known chewing up disgusting bugs and whatnot and then regurgitating them into mouths of our young. So if you think about it, this was actually a very tender and paternal move on my grandfather’s part, right up until he ate the fish. Just like he ate your parents. Oh no, I’ve said too much.”

Gil Thorp, 9/11/17

In slightly more realistic nephew-oriented scenarios, today’s Gil Thorp sets us up for the football season with a new character: Rick, who’s living with an uncle who he probably doesn’t know so well and who still thinks of him as a kid. What happened to Rick’s parents? I dunno, but after the decidedly dull summer plot, I am 100% ready for the story of the cargo-jeans-wearing Uncle Gary, who’s like a pageant mom only instead making his little daughter enter beauty pageants he’s making his teenage nephew enter talent shows down at the Elk’s Lodge, which he somehow thinks will jump-start a rocket ride to success for both of them.

Slylock Fox, 9/11/17

Most of these audience members are smiling because they’re excited to see a magic trick performed. Not Slylock, though! Slylock’s smiling because he knows this “magic trick” is going to suck, and that the rest of the crowd is going to be furious. “They’re gonna tear this clown apart,” he thinks, smugly.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 9/10/17

There’s a whole list of reasons why I’m super monogamous, and somewhere on the list is that the idea of two-timing just seems so stressful. Like, you have this whole elaborate web of lies that you have to keep up, and if just one of those lies is discovered, you have to quickly pivot to try to keep the other ones in place. So, yeah, I can’t say for sure that, if the college-aged girl I was dating and who I had previously and falsely assured that I was divorced discovered that I was not divorced, I wouldn’t blurt out “But if I told you I was still married, I knew you’d never sleep with me!” But that doesn’t stop me from finding it pretty funny that Dr. Ned did.

Funky Winkerbean, 9/10/17

I guess if you’ve been just making nonsensical wordplay in lieu of conversation for most of your late-middle and old age, once your mind finally does let go completely, your family won’t even notice! It’s really a blessing, except for you.

Mark Trail, 9/10/17

OH GOOD LET’S JUST GIVE A BIG “THANK YOU” TO THE MYSTERIOUS PETROLEUM-EATING MICROBES LIVING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA

LET’S JUST ASSUME THAT THIS “NEW” TYPE OF “NATURALLY OCCURRING” LIFE FORM IS OUR “ALLY” AND WILL REMAIN SO INDEFINITELY

LET’S LOOK AT CUTE PICTURES OF SEA LIFE AND NOT VISUALIZE HUGE MICROBIAL MATS, DREDGED FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE GULF BY MONSTROUS HURRICANES AND CRAWLING ONTO LAND, CONSUMING THE OIL AND PLASTIC UPON WHICH WE’VE BUILT OUR CIVILIZATION

EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE JUST FINE