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Mary Worth, 8/1/22

Oh hell yes, while Jared is off getting weaksauce advice from Mary, Dawn has decided to instead turn to the #1 relationship expert in her life: her father, a guy who alienated every single woman he knows by letting them mourn his death while he partied on a private island. It’s great she’s pumping him full of her patented superspicy chili first, as Wilbur’s emotional intelligence really hits its peak when he’s ripping a bunch of nasty farts.

Beetle Bailey, 8/1/22

Beetle Bailey characters usually aren’t what I’d call “expressive” but I do actually enjoy Sarge’s face here in the second panel. “Hmm,” he thinks, “that is an unusually large amount of sweat. Could be from some kind of medical condition. Maybe they should get that checked out!”

Daddy Daze, 8/1/22

The overarching theme of Daddy Daze is, of course, that the Daddy Daze daddy is constantly on the verge of unravelling mentally, but it’s important to keep in mind that he’s in constant physical pain as well.

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Mary Worth, 7/30/22

It honestly hasn’t been the greatest week for the comics this week, but I absolutely started hooting and hollering when Mary, bristiling in boldfaced type, said that “No, Jared, I don’t know how it feels to be disrespected.” You’re (relatively) new here, Jared, so you maybe you don’t know this, but when some sort of disrespect happens in a relationship involving Mary Worth, that disrespect only goes in one direction: away from Mary and towards the other person. Cruising a guy at his mother’s funeral or having a vacaton fling with a Broadway star, even though you’re already in a relationship: that’s something Mary did to her boyfriend, not something that was done to her. Never something that was done to her. One man — one man — dared to act disrespectful to Mary, romantically, and we all know how he ended up (dead). So you need to take a step back, Jared, Mary is not like you!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/30/22

“You’re an American, Tildy! You’re going to go into that hospital and die and then go bankrupt, just like everybody else.”

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Gil Thorp, 7/26/22

Wow, sorry, I guess because I’m an effete urban liberal I interpreted yesterday’s Gil Thorp scene as a bunch of public school employees enjoying an afternoon at a coffee shop, when in fact it’s a bunch of manly coaches pounding down hard liquor at a bar! The sort of bar where the bartenders will awkwardly flirt with you after you’ve been recently (?) abandoned (?) by your family, and also where you can just get your ass extremely kicked by the rowdy fellas from New Thayer.

Mary Worth, 7/26/22

OK, I know I’ve made it clear that I hate Jared very much and that by and large his simpering facial expressions send me into paroxysms of contempt, but I have to admit that the weird thing Jared’s doing with his mouth here in panel two is a wholly appropriate reaction to unexpectedly having to have lunch (and talk about your relationship problems) with Mary Worth.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/26/22

“Also, Hootin’ Holler’s tenuous connection to the economy of the outside world means that it’s just good sense to harvest whatever local calories we can! Store up fat for the winter now, paw!”