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Apartment 3-G, 9/16/15

Hey, remember when Eric and Margo met? That was when she invited herself to a party Lu Ann and Tommie were going to and then waggled her business card in his face. Later, she seduced him by wearing an extremely sexy hat. But now … now he’s worried. Just because she doesn’t know where she is or what’s happening or how money works! I mean, you spent years in Tibet, Eric, a country that very much definitely has telephone service, without bothering to tell anyone you were alive, so don’t get so high and mighty, mister.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/16/15

Awww, it seems like Hugh really is going to be the villain of this story after all. Remember, his last allies, the Chinese, tried to blow him up, so I can’t wait to see what the Indians do to him.

Gil Thorp, 9/16/15

YES YES YES MARTY MOON’S GOING TO BE USED AND HAVE HIS EMOTIONS TOYED WITH AND HIS HEART BROKEN YESSSSSS

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Slylock Fox, 9/15/15

Ah, it’s another Slylock Fox depicting the world just after the horrible Event, when all the animals Awoke and began turning on the poor, unprepared Homo sapiens. Here our sheriff is still foolishly attempting to enforce human law and track down a criminal, unaware that now is the time to let bygones between people be bygones and stand together to preserve the species. If I’ve learned one thing from Warner Brothers cartoons, it’s that coyotes are trained in the art of deception, so I assume that crude face is just painted on a wall in that cave, the better to lure this cowboy into a trap. The vulture looks cruelly delighted. He knows he will feast on human carrion tonight.

Apartment 3-G, 9/15/15

As Margo arrives at her supposed Manhattan high-rise apartment building, the door (?) opens, and we see, from left to right … a wall covered in vinyl siding, a vast blue emptiness, a glass door, more emptiness, the back of a toilet or maybe a faraway white panel truck, and a low-rise apartment building with first floor retail. I think “malfunctioning holodeck” may be the most logical solution here.

Momma, 9/15/15

Finally realizing that she cannot control every aspect of her children’s existence as long as they live and have wills of their own, she’s decided to have them killed, taxidermied, and mounted, starting with Francis.

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Crankshaft, 9/14/15

I really appreciate the ways in which the dystopic grimness of the Funkyverse is shaping Crankshaft’s Ralph Runs For Mayor plot. Normally we’d have a plucky underdog whose down-home simplicity and, yes, naivety actually turn out to be assets in the race against an arrogant, entrenched incumbent. Instead, we’re seeing what a one-note campaign run by old men who have no political experience and who range from befuddled to angry would actually look like: incompetent, incomprehensible, and offensive by turns. I assume the kangaroo is supposed to represent a “foreign” “species” from “down south” [WINK WINK] and that Ralph is … literally promising to pave the roads of Centerville with the mangled bodies of immigrants? Or else this is just absurdist surrealism, which would be even less effective as a campaigning tactic.

Notice the lovingly depicted valve on that kangaroo’s tail. While this spoils the fun for fans of elder plushiefuckers, it gives me hope that Crankshaft managed to poke a hole in the thing as he crammed it into the pothole, and that it’s slowly deflating behind Ralph as they film this terrible, terrible commercial.

Momma, 9/14/15

Momma is right to be confused. “But … Francis knows I don’t have any friends!”

Dennis the Menace, 9/14/15

“Some magic set. Where are the turtledoves and hares I can sacrifice to the Dark Lord, to beg him to grant me powers beyond those of mortal men?”