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Mark Trail, 9/10/15

Let’s all take a minute to appreciate what a thoughtful nature journalist Mark Trail is. Sure, that box of glowing rods marked by a giant radiation symbol is probably full of radioactive material, but wouldn’t it be embarrassing if a team from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission came out and found a bunch of gag novelty items or something like that? I think once Mark does eventually call them in, and they hear that he dicked around for a few days waiting for special dive suits to be shipped to him and then went poking around himself without any training on how to handle radioactive material, they’ll be glad he didn’t waste their time!

Blondie, 9/10/15

About a year ago I tore into Blondie for obviously having no idea what Twitter was or how it worked, so I now I have to recognize progress: as of September of 2015, Blondie knows exactly what Twitter is and how it works. Be sure to follow me on Twitter and watch how my tweeting rate increases rapidly as my workload and deadlines mount!

Dennis the Menace, 9/10/15

The only employer you ever hear Mr. Wilson talking about is the U.S. Postal Service. So, one job for his whole life, union representation, and a pension on retirement? Story checks out.

Momma, 9/10/15

“Phew! She can’t taste the slow-acting poison after all! The nice man I ordered it from over the Internet was telling the truth!”

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Hey guys, just wanted to keep you updated on the progress of my novel! I’ve now received the manuscript back from the copy editor, need to review the final changes, and hope to send it to the designer next week. Much more interestingly, though, I now have COVER ART for the book, which I am EXTREMELY excited about! It’s by Matt Lubchansky, a great cartoonist and otherwise awesome person, and it’s FANTASTIC, and here it is:

Who are all these people? What are they doing on this subway platform? Who are the mysterious “Ladies Who Lunch” lurking in the background? You will have to wait until the book arrives to find out … but that won’t be too much longer now, either for Kickstarter backers or for people who just want to buy it. EXCITING!

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Gil Thorp, 9/9/15

If there’s one thing Gil Thorp does well, it’s call back to beloved (?) characters from the past, so as soon as it became clear that we were supposed to know who Holly Dobbs is, I Googled “holly dobbs gil thorp” and … guys. Guys. This article from 1993 says that Holly Dobbs is GIL’S EX-GIRLFRIEND, a former Milford English teacher/aspiring actor who he was about to propose to when she got cast in a play in fancy New York City and left Milford behind her … forever. Or, you know, for 38 years, since that story ran in newspapers in 1967. But now she’s back and I sincerely hope that the implications of both this strip and this strip hold, i.e., that she was secretly also dating Marty during her Milford life, and that now, with her acting career dead, she’s returning to teach high school as some sort of awful reality show stunt, meaning the hot Gil-Holly-Marty love triangle action will be broadcast to fans nationwise.

Archie, 9/9/15

It’s kind of weird that this whole strip is just bathed in a urine-colored omnipresent glow, but if you were a colorist confronted with Archie strip where the joke involves Jughead stink-breathing “VICTOR HUGO,” and also, completely out of character, recognizing a Victor Hugo quote, you too might decide that you don’t get paid enough for this shit.

Mary Worth, 9/9/15

“I mean, not literally. That would’ve been great! I could’ve used that card to rent a room at a nice hotel! Instead I have to hide out here with you, ugh.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/9/15

“I’ll see what I can do! About the patriarchy, I mean. I’m a former nanny who married her way into the upper corporate echelons, so I’m trying to bring it down from the inside.”

Crankshaft, 9/9/15

I’m starting to think Ralph Meckler’s probably not going to win this election, guys.