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Apartment 3-G, 9/17/15

Apartment 3-G may be in its advanced decline at this point, but at least it can still occasionally indulge in one of my favorite Apartment 3-G pursuits: shitting on Tommie. “Margo needs a doctor but she refuses to see one.” “I’ll call Tommie! She’s a friend who Margo feels comfortable with, but she’s also a skilled medical professional in her own right. Plus she lives right here!” “GOD DAMN IT LU ANN WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO WASTE ON THESE POINTLESS SUGGESTIONS OF YOURS, I’LL CALL TOMMIE IF I WANT SOMEONE TO SIGH AND MOPE AT MARGO BUT RIGHT NOW WE NEED A REAL DOCTOR”

Six Chix, 9/17/15

I admit to being a little puzzled as to what’s going on here. Is this supposed to be a metaphor showing that we shun pariahs, an indictment of our society that is as searing as it is circular, since literally the definition of a pariah is someone you shun? Or is this supposed to depict the the sport our so-called intellectuals have at their fancy cocktail parties, reaffirming my longstanding policy of not ever leaving the house?

Mary Worth, 9/17/15

Poor Ian has just been leaving unacknowledged and escalatingly pathetic voicemails for Toby all week, apparently, and this is it looks like things have gotten pretty desperate. “Toby! Think of the haters! You don’t want to give any satisfaction to the haters, do you? Do you?

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Apartment 3-G, 9/16/15

Hey, remember when Eric and Margo met? That was when she invited herself to a party Lu Ann and Tommie were going to and then waggled her business card in his face. Later, she seduced him by wearing an extremely sexy hat. But now … now he’s worried. Just because she doesn’t know where she is or what’s happening or how money works! I mean, you spent years in Tibet, Eric, a country that very much definitely has telephone service, without bothering to tell anyone you were alive, so don’t get so high and mighty, mister.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/16/15

Awww, it seems like Hugh really is going to be the villain of this story after all. Remember, his last allies, the Chinese, tried to blow him up, so I can’t wait to see what the Indians do to him.

Gil Thorp, 9/16/15

YES YES YES MARTY MOON’S GOING TO BE USED AND HAVE HIS EMOTIONS TOYED WITH AND HIS HEART BROKEN YESSSSSS

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Slylock Fox, 9/15/15

Ah, it’s another Slylock Fox depicting the world just after the horrible Event, when all the animals Awoke and began turning on the poor, unprepared Homo sapiens. Here our sheriff is still foolishly attempting to enforce human law and track down a criminal, unaware that now is the time to let bygones between people be bygones and stand together to preserve the species. If I’ve learned one thing from Warner Brothers cartoons, it’s that coyotes are trained in the art of deception, so I assume that crude face is just painted on a wall in that cave, the better to lure this cowboy into a trap. The vulture looks cruelly delighted. He knows he will feast on human carrion tonight.

Apartment 3-G, 9/15/15

As Margo arrives at her supposed Manhattan high-rise apartment building, the door (?) opens, and we see, from left to right … a wall covered in vinyl siding, a vast blue emptiness, a glass door, more emptiness, the back of a toilet or maybe a faraway white panel truck, and a low-rise apartment building with first floor retail. I think “malfunctioning holodeck” may be the most logical solution here.

Momma, 9/15/15

Finally realizing that she cannot control every aspect of her children’s existence as long as they live and have wills of their own, she’s decided to have them killed, taxidermied, and mounted, starting with Francis.