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Hagar the Horrible, 10/29/14

In the middle ages, even the armies of states and large feudal territories tended to avoid risky pitched battles; most wars were fought via sieges and raids on undefended towns and estates. Small raiding bands like the Vikings were even less likely to attempt to fight through serious resistance, since there were plenty of places that could be profitably plundered without having to deal with trained soldiers of any sort. Today’s Hagar the Horrible is entirely historically accurate, in other words.

Mark Trail, 10/29/14

Yeah, Doc, we just … told you about the mine a minute ago? Oh no, is Mark Trail going to rip off Mary Worth and do the Mark Trail storyline equivalent of putting an old person in a home? (The Mark Trail storyline equivalent of putting an old person in a home is putting an old person on an ice floe.)

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Mark Trail, 10/28/14

So here’s a little mystery for you: last week when Bill proposed to send Mark and his family into the Great Dismal Swamp, the nefarious chemical company involved was called “Petroxx Chemical,” which name I worked into a joke I was a little too inordinately proud of. But not long after the post went up, an anonymous commenter pointed out that in version online the company’s name had changed to “Riverway Chemical”; this is the name they seem to be going with now, and Mark is going out of his way to point out that this Riverway Chemical outfit is totally one of the good industrial mining concerns. Did just the name “Petroxx Chemical” offend some powerful interests? Is this storyline just going to become increasingly neutered, with any evidence that Mark cares at all about the environment vanished down some Stalinist memory hole? When we look at the strips from these dates three weeks from now, will Mark and Doc be talking about how titanium dioxide keeps a fish’s scales soft and supple?

Rusty, meanwhile, doesn’t care about any of this fancy tree-hugger talk. Mostly he wants to know: is this swamp full of dangerous reptiles that will kill and eat him? Will his pointless existence finally be snuffed out by blessed oblivion? Will he at last be able to contribute something to the world, as food in a gator’s belly?

Beetle Bailey, 10/28/14

It may sound like Miss Buxley is just babbling nonsense in panel three, but she’s probably just killing time so that the undercover EEOC agent at the next table can gather enough corroborating evidence about this mandatory lunch date with her boss, during which he’s already ordered that work matters not be discussed.

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Heathcliff, 10/27/14

After a nightmarish curse left the town’s inhabitants irrevocably transformed, the damned souls are taking hesitant steps towards recognizing one another and reclaiming some part of their lost humanity.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/27/14

Just another day in the teachers’ lounge, laughing it up about the endless parade of genetic defectives that make up Westview’s children!

Crankshaft, 10/27/14

Although 10 years earlier kids in the nearby town of Centerville went on a violent, terrifying rampage when Crankshaft’s family ran out of candy, so maybe Les and his cronies are right to view the local youth with mingled contempt and disgust.

Spider-Man, 10/27/14

Despite his best efforts, Spider-Man will in fact be rescued from his primary antagonist by his secondary antagonist.

Apartment 3-G, 10/27/14

NO MARGO YOU JUST STARTED TALKING OUT LOUD THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SAID YOU’RE SAYING YOU WANT TO DO