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Slylock Fox, 9/7/13

Once again, we have a Slylock Six Differences that offers a glimpse at the moment when our planet stopped being a human-dominated ecosystem. Today we see the early days of the Great Animal Rising, when the formerly “lesser” life forms still felt a need to hide their new intelligence and powers from their human oppressors. This scene is interesting because it shows that even from the outset, animal society wasn’t unified, presaging the endless petty animal-on-animal crime we see in the present-day Slylockverse. Clearly the cat-dog rivalry has survived both species’ transition to sapience, even in the face of a greater threat. “Him! He’s the one who’s walking around on his hind legs and using tools and … um … I mean, meow?”

Funky Winkerbean, 9/7/13

That was a nice attempt to slip some Jesus into your public high school English lesson, Les. Too bad computers are their gods now.

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Well, I hope it’s still pleasant and late summer where you are, ladies and gentlemen. In any event, here is your comment of the week!

“Oh, Sarah. Always worrying about being too different while sitting in your veil of darkness. More Snickerdoodles?” –Notmydesk

And here is your list of runners up! Very funny!

“Dog-and-hydrant jokes are the last refuge of the lazy comics writer. Whenever you run out of ideas, you can just go with ‘Marmaduke doesn’t use hydrants any more. He got a smartphone app for that.’ and all the four-year-olds who pay for home newspaper delivery will chuckle at the trenchant combination of social commentary and implied urine.” –Kibo

“The fox folds his arms. ‘Your scheme will fail, Weirdly. The balloon will pop due to atmospheric pressure. And definitely not because my secret Air Force will destroy it to prevent surveillance competition.'” –Bunivasal

“See, ‘full-fledged’ is actually an ornithological term, indicating that a baby bird has finally grown its feathers out and is ready to start flying. So in the context of airline school, it is a pun. Also, as the baby bird, or ‘chick’ of this scenario, Marylou says ‘Gotta go!’ because she is preparing to ‘leave the nest.’ Mell Lazarus trusts his audience to unpack the multilayered humor of this strip with the same agility that they use to decipher the Bible Code.” –damanoid

“Kinda sad Marylou didn’t just respond with ‘HOLY FUCK WHO’S FLYING THE PLANE'” –Tophat

“This strip is the UR-Trail. Until now we have all been chained in a cave, witnessing shadows of Mark Trail strips on the cavern walls. Today we have walked outside, and seen Mark Trail for the first time, in its purest form: Threat … Punch … Yell … Jack Elrod.” –Dan

“My kids left for school at 7 a.m. Who does Jell-O shots at seven in the freakin’ morning? Oh, right, cartoonists.” –Bill Peschel

“John Calder is your lieutenant governor. I voted for the other guy.” –Liam

“I have just realized that everyone knows who The Tarantula’s sister is. So why is he wearing the freakin’ mask? Is the mystery about which brother he is? Or does he just love the feeling of silk against his bewhiskered cheeks?” –Everything Is Better with Monkeys

“Reading a comic that’s been pimped out as a PSA is boring enough. This is even more boring than that. This reads like a comic about the strategy sessions for defining the PSA’s message.” –Cloudbuster

“WARNING: ‘OPEN TALK’ SESSIONS MAY RESULT IN FEEDBACK! GUESTS NOT PREPARED FOR FEEDBACK SHOULD TRY ‘CLOSED TALK’ OR ‘NO TALK’ SESSIONS.” –pugfuggly

“I have a simple wish for the characters in Better Half: that they be granted eyelids.” –Joe Blevins

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Mary Worth, 9/6/13

THANK GOODNESS SHANNON ISN’T GOING TO BE FIRED!!! It seemed that the odds were stacked against her, with the only sliver of hope she had to hold onto being the fact that any threat to her job seemed existed only in her and Mary’s panicked imaginations. My guess is that Aggie only got all this sweet free stuff because Shannon went to beg desperately for her job and her boss, in between the heaving sobs, managed to discern that maybe one of the customers got bent out of shape about dumb crap, let’s waive their bill or something, ugh, get this crying lady out of here, fine, fine, you can keep your job, whatever, just go.

“They’ll most likely caution participants that sharing at open talks may lead to feedback!” is probably the most hilarious sentence you’ll read for the entire month of September, by the way.

Better Half, 9/6/13

The thing I like about this strip is that Stanley is wearing a shirt and tie, which means that it isn’t casual Friday at all, and he’s desperately improvising to excuse whatever horrifying biological noise he just unleashed on the poor client on the other end of the line. This seems much, much more like something you’d get fired for than for providing feedback to someone sharing at open talk.

Crankshaft, 9/6/13

Today’s strip will be Exhibit A in Mary’s multimillion dollar “conspiracy to create a hostile work environment” lawsuit against the school district.