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Ladies aaaaaand gentlemen: your COMMENT! OF! THE! WEEK!

“Oh god, the horror! Curtis is clearly two almost totally unrelated jokes, hamfistedly sewn together by some demented serial killer. Look, you can see the seam between the punchline and the premise! Truly a grisly, grisly spectacle.” –bunivasal

And the very amusing runners up!

“I can’t wait to see what convoluted plan Mark will come up with; I’m pretty sure it won’t be anything like, ‘Say, when we see Rod Bassy’s van, let’s go take Rusty out of it.'” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“I can even print up a diploma for job interviews! It’s 1995, after all, and home word processing technology has finally really arrived.” –Noah

“Sergeant Captain Major Francis Gary Powers, US Army Air Force Central Intelligence Agency, shot down over the Ural Mountains during the Vietnam War in 2008. We must update Wikipedia.” –seismic-2

“‘Young lady, are you OK?’ is quite possibly the dumbest line of dialogue I’ve ever seen. SHE’S CRYING IN FRONT OF A GRAVE, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?” –Inkwell

“Roy Lichtenstein disgusted the Pop Art world today with Suddenly, Tears Come (Sob Sob Sob . . . Young Lady Are You Okay). ‘It’s neither a remake nor a parody. It says nothing rather than being a statement about saying nothing. There’s none of the play with perspective that made him famous. It has no humor, no disciplined brushstrokes or comic-strip dots,’ said Ben Day of the Journal of Interior Semiotics outside the Stack’s Bowers auction on Friday.” –Daniel

“May I just say that I adore the sheer enthusiasm in that trout’s face in panel two? ‘OMG IT’S A FLY AND I’M GOING TO EAT IT AND THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!'” –Drewbear

“‘Is he your husband?’ ‘Well, no. Not since he died!'” –Chip

“I could tell that your heart’s rhythms are the same as Spider-Man’s … really, really slow. Dangerously slow, in fact. You spend a lot of time on the couch, don’t you? And it wouldn’t hurt to cut down on the junk food either. You smell like a giant Cheeto.” –damanoid

“I can hear the beating of your heart, your juicy delicious heart. What? Oh nothing, forget I said anything. Now let’s get into the cramped cameraless elevator together.” –Holly Folly

“Visibly uncomfortable, Tom tries to break the tension by turning to Mary and conversationally inquiring ‘So, Mary, what the fuck are we eating, anyway?'” –Violet

“Please honey, stop undressing so sexily, it’s distracting. I’m up to 5 habits already and I want to be highly effective by tomorrow.” –pugfuggly

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/22/13

“Hello, everybody, we’re the creative team behind Rex Morgan, M.D.! We know that you enjoy exciting tales of adventure and the medical profession, and that you also like hot bodies in various stages of undress. We made you a promise — that the attractive characters in our feature would occasionally strip down to their underwear — and we aim to keep that promise. Every five years or so counts as ‘occasionally,’ right? We’re working our way up to full frontal nudity, which should get the syndicate OK sometime’s in the mid 2200s.”

Heathcliff, 3/22/13

I wouldn’t worry too much about photobombing, officer; Heathcliff will not be visible at all in this picture, seeing as the camera is pointed directly at the suspect’s crotch. This is a very particular kind of mug shot for a very specific audience.

Mark Trail, 3/22/13

“In the meantime, let’s enjoy a big, hearty bowl of orange mush in Rusty’s honor. Mush was all we ever allowed Rusty to eat, and orange was his favorite mush color. He would’ve wanted it this way! Er, does want it this way, I should say, he’s probably still alive. At least we’re all hoping that he is! Yeah, that’s it, hoping.”

Hi and Lois, 3/22/13

“Or to late March, which is when this comic strip will be published!”

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Mary Worth, 3/21/13

Let me tell you a story about one of the origins of this blog. One day in 2002, I moved to Baltimore, and as was the style at the time, I subscribed to the print version of the local newspaper, the Baltimore Sun. In 2002 the Sun had four glorious pages of comics, among which were all the continuity strips that are my current mainstays. Mary Worth was in the midst of a storyline about balding crank Smitty Smedlap, who hated fish (or, as he called it, “feesh”) and didn’t care who knew it. When I first tuned in October of 2002, he was eating with Mary (and maybe some other people?) at the Bum Boat and complaining about its feesh-based menu. This went on for weeks. Everyone else just sat around uncomfortably, letting him rant. Was it supposed to be awkward? Were the strip writers aware of how socially aggravating Smitty was? I couldn’t tell, and I was riveted. Thus, whenever we hit an awkward meal in Mary Worth, I’m full of nostalgia and my love for the strip — for the whole genre — is renewed.

I’m particularly enjoying Mary and Tom’s facial expressions as they sit and watch the fun. Mary seems to be keeping her face deliberately neutral — she abhors conflict, of course, but she also enjoys the quick access to backstory this argument is giving her. Tom, meanwhile, looks increasingly agitated that he’ll be found out at as man who divorced his wife and subsequently torn limb from limb by the Kinleys, who will be relieved to at last have a common enemy.

Crankshaft, 3/21/13

“Coming up next on Channel 12 Action News: Hated local creep Ed Crankshaft has immobilized himself in an unprotected public space! 12 On Your Side reporter Harv Postman will give you information on angry mob staging points, where pitchforks and torches will be available, after these messages.”

Spider-Man, 3/21/13

Really, if every Spider-Man plot were about Spider-Man meeting other, cooler superheroes and being humiliated by how much better their powers were than his, I would be a happy guy.