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Spider-Man, 10/1/12

So Spider-Man finally had to resort to some extremely mild superheroics in order to defeat Clown-9, and I think we can all be grateful that that’s over. Because now the strip can get back to its core competency: Spider-Man’s irritating personal and domestic situation, or, in his absence (obviously he’s earned a few days of semi-conscious TV time), that of his wife. I sure hope you want to see petty bickering behind the scenes of Broadway’s most terrible comedy sensation, because it seems that’s going to be the theme of our week!

Today Jericho demonstrates that he’s too dumb to recognize when he’s been insulted, which is probably a good quality to have if you’re both thin-skinned and the sort of person that people want to insult. But he also demonstrates the natural-born actor’s native eloquence: “Spider-Man’s victory over a deranged clown” is surely one of the most pleasing turns of phrase we’re likely to see in this strip all year.

Apartment 3-G, 10/1/12

Margo, you’re slipping, girl! The best way to maintain your dignity is to act as if everything you do is dignified and ignore the opinions of other, lesser people on the subject. “Greg, my paid manservant Evan was just tending to my physical needs and you interrupted his process! This is very inconvenient for me. I demand that you apologize to him for the imposition. I believe he’s weeping quietly to himself in a corner somewhere, I’m sure you can find him, just follow the sobbing.”

B.C., 10/1/12

Today’s B.C. features vicious carnivores using dismembered corpse parts as currency, in a scene that would fit in perfectly either in the most depraved of shock-horror films or in the beloved, family-friendly confines of the comics page! The pool of blood spreading out from beneath the quivering heap of viscera is a nice touch.

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Funky Winkerbean, 9/30/12

So there’s a dismal, pouring rain, and the daughters upon whom Les and Cayla have lavished all their energy over the past 18 years have moved away, and even the things that should be joyful to look forward to are just looming, anxiety-inducing projects that must be tackled with grim determination and will inevitably fail in some meaningful way. Cayla begs for death. (“No, Josh, don’t be silly, ‘just shoot me’ is an over-the-top way of acknowledging life’s little difficulties, if we just look at her face we’ll be able to tell that she’s jokOH DEAR GOD THERE ISN’T ENOUGH PROZAC IN THE WORLD FOR THIS POOR POOR WOMAN”)

Blondie, 9/30/12

I guess this is supposed to be making fun of Facebook users, but I think a sure-fire way to get more people to sign up would be an ad that said “Facebook: For when you need to minimize awkward in-person interactions with jackasses like Iggy Sorenson.”

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Apartment 3-G, 9/29/12

Oh, man, it looks like Apartment 3-G is just going to keep on getting sexier, only by sexy we unfortunately mean “’70s French sex farce where people keep barging in on each other and otherwise having comical misunderstandings sexy” rather than “actually sexy.” Didn’t Margo have a receptionist at some point earlier in this storyline? She doesnt seem to be doing a particularly good job. Greg, meanwhile, is showing that, you know, MFF, MMF, whatever, if it’s a threesome he wants in.

Blondie, 9/29/12

Haha, Blondie wants no part of growing old with Dagwood! The only question now is what route she’s taking out of this marriage: divorce, murder, or murder-suicide.