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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/26/12

I had always hoped that, if there were anywhere in America where the bane of helicopter parenting had yet to arrive, it was Hootin’ Holler. And yet here we have the Smifs hovering intrusively over their toddler instead of just letting him engage in the sort of non-supervised play in a trash-strewn backyard that made Americans from previous generations healthy and strong (those that survived, anyway). My one consolation is that Snuffy is still pretty bad at this, having stuck li’l Tater in a dog house that’s almost certainly filthy beyond description.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 2/26/12

I suppose that Loretta needed to be in the back seat in order for this joke to work (to the extent that you would consider this a “joke” that “works”), but that still doesn’t solve the mystery of who this grim-faced fellow is in the front seat. He sort of looks as he’s being driven somewhere by the Lockhorns to be done in execution-style and dumped in a shallow grave, but if that were the case he’d probably be happier to see this cop, so I’m assuming that he’s just listened to them talk for 15 or 20 minutes and has now completely lost his ability to feel joy.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/26/12

It seems that Rodney Rat has graduated from eager teenage grifter to “career criminal,” with sunglasses and everything. It makes me a little sad that he’s hit this elevated status in his criminal trajectory while his much awesomer relative Reeky is left back in the small time. I also question the practicality of the rope-lasso as a prisoner-retainment device, which may help explain why Rodney gets to make a career out of his criminality.

Panel from Mary Worth, 2/26/12

Mary, no! You don’t have anything to prove to her! YOU’RE LETTING HER INSIDE YOUR HEAD!

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Pluggers, 2/25/12

When I was in college I had a big thing for a Catholic girl and one week I went to church with her (ROMANTIC PRO TIP: This very rarely works) and it was a typically crunchy collegiate parish and at one point the bearded priest busted out an acoustic guitar and we got a folk-rock version the Lord’s Prayer and all I could think was “Oh my God, Mel Gibson was right.” Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I feel you, my cranky plugger friend! And I’m not ashamed to say it!

Mary Worth, 2/25/12

More proof that Nola is being unfairly depicted as the villain in this story! Obviously in whatever badly decorated office this is the well-known rules of engagement are that one sleeps one’s way to the top. It’s probably right there in the HR manual! Our catty duo knows that they’d do the same if only they were endowed with the sexy gams and malleable face of their rival.

Crankshaft, 2/25/12

So Crankshaft was inducted into the local sports hall of fame to his great delight, but for some reason this week the plot took a turn and was suddenly about how this one-armed reporter we’d never seen before accidentally wrote and published an obituary for this other guy we’ve never seen before, which, weird and not-funny as it is, is surely better than seeing Crankshaft enjoy anything.

Marmaduke, 2/25/12

Don’t be ungrateful! It’s polite of Marmaduke to shake your hand before he brutally dismembers you, just as it’s polite of him to have dug graves for your various body parts rather than just leaving them strewn about the yard.

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RIGHT NOW! HERE IT IS! YOUR COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“If there’s any one superhero who can deal with a nap-related crisis, it’s Spider-Man!” –Effluvius Erratus

And your very funny runners up!

“At first I’d assumed the Momma comic was a reference to Clint Eastwood’s Super Bowl commercial for Chrysler. Then I realized that that doesn’t make sense and isn’t funny, which means I was probably right.” –Cayuga

“Where’s the beret and the two-foot long cigarette holder? How am I supposed to know this fellow is in The Industry???” –bats :[

“Wait. Did Mark just engage in human contact?” –Faoladh

“Nola may think’s she’s been promoted, but actually her desk has been placed so suffocatingly close to the wall behind her that she’ll never be able to escape from her office-chair, and will probably eventually die of thirst. On some level, even Nola seems to accept that this is the just wages of her harlotry. ‘I’ve earned this office,’ she tells herself with weary resignation. ‘Come, kindly death.'” –Higgs Boatswain

“I pray that the Exposition Twins follow Nola around for the rest of this storyline, whispering asides to each other from the shadows: ‘There goes Nola! Into the john to eliminate feces!’ ‘I can’t believe the size of the bran muffin and coffee that led to this bowel movement!'” –KreatureFeatures

“So, for the nursery, I was thinking of a large Scarface poster and stacking up a bunch of empty liquor bottles in the windows so everyone else on campus can knows how much me and the baby love to party. Does that sound close to correct?” –Chareth Cutestory

“Don’t let this sissy teddy bear fool you, Margo! I’m a man, and my wife has the bloated abdomen to prove it!” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“I thought color-coded ascots were enough to tell the bland, featureless men of A3G apart but having each man carry a stuffed version of his spirit animal is a huge step forward.” –Ed Dravecky

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