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Hey everybody! I suddenly woke up and realized that it was 2011 and I need to have my SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGY in order! Apparently this whole “social networking” business is not just a passing fad, and probably many of you ENJOY reading funny things from your favorite funny people on these sites, so who am I to deny you my wit, in social media form?

What will you get if you follow me on your favorite social networking site?

• Jokes that I think up!
• Links to things I think are funny!
• Occasional links to things I think are not funny, but important, including some political stuff, so be on guard if political opinions other than your own cause you rage!
• A daily link to the Comics Curmudgeon when I update it!
• Links to other things I write, when I write them!

If that sounds like a lot, it really isn’t. No more than, say, five things a day, usually, and often only one or two. And I’m basically going to be posting the same stuff to all my social media accounts (baring space restraints), so you really only ought to follow me on one of the following, whichever happens to be your favorite:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Tumblr
• Google+

And one final note: That Facebook link is to my newly created Facebook fan page. While I’ve never publicized my actual personal Facebook page, a lot of readers have found it in the past and friended me; but I’m going to be pruning my personal Facebook page back to people I actually know (and I count working with someone online as “knowing”) soon, so if you only know me through my writing, please like my fan page.

Thanks! And now I promise to not blather on about social media anymore, because really it’s kind of dumb. We now return you to discussion of more important things, like Mary Worth’s carefully maintained list of important phone numbers for her financial institutions.

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Gil Thorp, 11/16/11

Trust me, the current plot of Gil Thorp is totally not worth time time it would take for me to describe it to you, but I do think everyone can find today’s strip amusing. Say what you will about those Mudlarks, but they sure are together emotionally. Most high school athletes would probably be cowed or angry when one of their coaches freaked out on them, but these guys just sweatily crack wise and do a little armchair (or sideline bench) psychoanalysis. “Ho hum, another high school football coach who’s just living vicariously through us, probably because his life peaked during his own high school days and now he’s way too emotionally invested in these largely meaningless contests! I mean, he’s right, we do suck, but he should be taking an entirely different motivational tack if he expects us to respect him.”

Judge Parker, 11/16/11

If only Derek were so self-aware; instead, it’s becoming increasingly clear that his feeble teenage wits are no match for Sophie’s robotic intelligence and grim determination to possess him “I’m sure you had no idea … but she threatened me today, after I openly declared my intentions of stealing you away from her! It was totally unprovoked, except for the part where I kept taunting her!”

Ziggy, 11/16/11

Ha ha, those wacky foreigners! Not so bright, but very, very hungry! They’re starving! Literally. Because of the famines. Wacky!

Hi and Lois, 11/16/11

In other news, Trixie thinks her mom is fucking the dog, I guess.

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Marmaduke, 11/15/11

I don’t usually find little visual flourishes to enjoy in the loopy, face-melting world of Marmaduke, but here one is: Marmaduke’s owner’s license plate bears the single letter “M”. Actually, that ought to make one question whose car this really is. Usually the DMV doesn’t issue license plates with only a single letter on them, unless they’re compelled to do so by a terrifying power beyond their ken, which reinforces the emerging consensus that this vehicle belongs to Marmaduke, its purpose to carry its demon-hound owner wherever He wishes to go, via highway, carpool lane, sidewalk, canal, whatever, so that nosey cop had best do obeisance and walk away slowly, unless he wants to get eaten nice and painfully.

Herb and Jamaal, 11/15/11

“Here, let me set up a really convoluted analogy for you. You know how sometimes you just lose your grip on your wallet, and slips out of your hands and flies into a fish tank? And sometimes that fish tank is filled with pirañas, which are never kept in tanks? That’s what it’s like with the ladies, who take your money and bite you with razor-sharp teeth when you try to take it back!  Ha ha, women, who needs ’em, amiright? Say, want to come upstairs and look at my etchings?”