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Are you ready to roll into the weekend with your comment of the week?

“Mark did not erase Kelly Welly’s memory card, he simply stole it. It took Mark several hours to open the little door to get the card out, at which point I suspect he simply swallowed it since the concept of ‘deleting’ the contents would require a level of computer savvy far beyond that of eating pancakes, Mark’s only discernible skill.” –Not Just Any Dipstick

And your extremely amusing runners up?

“Does Randy understand he doesn’t need to maintain eye contact with his phone for it to work?” –Amazing Braino

“‘TOMMIE’ is clearly a cheap Chinese knockoff of The Who album ‘Tommy,’ featuring songs like ‘Pinnbal Wizzard’ and ‘Smush the Mirorr.'” –mgm

“I’m excited to hear Mim’s story. Clearly she somehow managed to escape the A3G black hole, settle in to the normal passage of time, and become several years older than her aunt.” –brian

“So wait, why does Mark have to wait until he gets back to the house to call Tommy? His shirt-phone clearly works outside.” –Francisco Arrowroot

“If you’re all fired up for getting a tattoo, you can take mine. No, seriously, take it, rip it from my skin. It is a mark of eternal shame that I will otherwise be forced to carry to my grave.” –Notebooked

“Yes, despite your transparent attempts to stall me and keep me here, I will take a dish of complimentary ice cream to go, thinks the World’s Worst Kidnapper.” –Esther Blodgett

“That Mark Trail is like a Sesame Street sketch about camera angles. ‘Toooo Far!’ … ‘Tooo Close!'” –AndyL

“I’m now thinking about winning strategies for playing a day long pooping game show. THANK YOU FOR RUINING MY DAY!!!!” –Eau de Plugger

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Daniel Palmer: Delirious: “A high-speed thrill ride.” –Tess Gerritsen “Smart, sophisticated, and unsettling…a great thriller.” –Lee Child “A roiling plot, insightful characters, clear, intelligent writing.” –Steve Berry

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Apartment 3-G, 1/6/12

There’s just enough wiggle room in this adoption talk to make me hope against hope that a hilarious and awkward misunderstanding is in the works. “Adopted me? No, Lu Ann, you’re the adopted one!” Hijinks would ensue, along with baffled tears.

Marvin, 1/6/12

You know, sometimes I say to myself, “Look, you’ve got to stop showcasing Marvin’s constant poop jokes! It’s becoming almost as gross and lazy as the poop jokes themselves!” But then I hit a strip that actually focuses on COMPETITIVE DEFECATION and honestly I don’t see how I can be expected to restrain myself.

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Gasoline Alley, 1/5/12

I won’t waste my time or yours trying to explain the Gasoline Alley plot that led up to this — it’s all summarized in the first two panels here, and it took months, and Slim and Clovia were very angry with each other about it — but I do think it’s worth pointing out that all this drama has very suddenly been resolved with no action on the characters’ part, and with enough time left over to slip in a joke about toilets to boot. It’s kind of disorienting to see it all end so abruptly, and on a Thursday too. I’m thinking that the original ending, which involved yelling and knives, was nixed by the syndicate at the last minute. The remaining three days until the next plotline starts will just consist of Slim and Clovia standing around awkwardly.

For Better Or For Worse, 1/5/12

Ha ha, For Better Or For Worse, remember that thing? When it stopped with the ongoing storylines and became mostly reruns of young versions of the Pattersons talking in weird fake cute-speak it stopped being all that interesting to me, but I still feel compelled to read it daily. I also feel compelled to try to figure out, based on the art, whether we’re seeing old strips or new ones injected into the old continuity, and I think these are the latter, and I’m thinking: what if Lynn Johnston suddenly feels compelled to seize the reins and start aging the characters all over again, only this time John and Elly have a contentious divorce, leaving April to vanish in a limbo of never-was and Michael and Elizabeth with terrible emotional scars? Except look how they turned out when their parents stayed married, maybe they’ll be healthy, functional adults this way, who can say. Michael’s already showing a streak of self-loathing that, with years of therapy, might serve as a counterweight to his unbearable smugness.

Gil Thorp, 1/5/12

I’m extremely amused by the low-key Mudlark reaction in panel two, though you know that deep down they’re thinking that a Pokémon tattoo would be kind of awesome. They’re also playing it cool so as not to anger the disembodied claw-thing that’s casually draped itself on Punisher t-shirt dude’s shoulder.

Mark Trail, 1/5/12

“Yes, why don’t I come and hang out with you and Sally and your blind dog for a few days? Sweet Christ, I’d do anything to get away from my wife and adopted son.”

Beetle Bailey, 1/5/12

After billions of dollars were spent, the Defense Department began to suspect that Camp Swampy may not have been the best test site for its robotic supersoldier experiment.