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Mark Trail, 2/24/11

Wow, this is actually a kind of surprising development in Mark Trail! Rather than Mark just punching out the villain and returning home to Lost Forest, he instead got shot and is washing up on on some distant shore at the bottom of that EMPTY boat. Cast your mind back to your classical education: you’ll recall that the Odyssey begins with Odysseus being held captive by the nymph Calypso, who wants the Greek hero as her husband, on her island. Likewise, Mark will soon be in the thrall of this lady, who’s wearing a revealing shirt and freakishly high-waisted jeans, which are the Mark Trail signifiers for “sex goddess.” Will Cherry remain faithful for the 10 years it will take for Mark to return to her and reclaim his kingdom, with Rusty’s help?

Spider-Man, 2/24/11

“Hmm, so you used to be a vampire … and you’re doing the same vampire bat experiments that resulted in your vampirism before … and there’s a vampire loose in the city … and you have visible fangs and strange claw-like fingernails … but you say you’re not a vampire? Sure, whatever, I’ll buy it. So, you got a TV around here?”

Marmaduke, 2/24/11

Of all of Marmaduke’s demonic powers, some find his ability to control human minds to be the most terrifying. But when you think about the awful fate that awaits this child, isn’t it a blessing that he’s living out his last moments in a sort of zombified ecstasy, rather than abject terror?

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Barney Google, 2/23/11

Longtime readers know that I’m fascinated by Parson Tuttle, Hootin’ Holler’s sole clergyman and a notorious mooch and fraud. Though we met his wife before when we went shoppin’ wif her, it never occurred to me to wonder why she didn’t accompany him on his foraging expeditions among his flock; I guess I assumed that this was not one of the things that parson’s wives do. Does she sit at home alone, waiting for whatever secondhand scraps the parson brings back from his surly parishioners? Anyway, today Loweezy has decided to use her backwards community’s iron-clad gender roles to shame Tuttle into eating at home. Unfortunately for her, as the parson’s insouciant grin in panel three demonstrates, he has no shame.

Herb and Jamaal, 2/23/11

“Ha ha, just kidding! There’s nothing I like better than smugly unleashing the little jokes I think up on hapless service personnel. But seriously, can I take out a life insurance policy on my best friend and business partner, whom I’m totally 100 percent not planning to kill?”

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Wizard of Id, 2/22/10

There’s something I find pleasingly subversive about today’s Wizard of Id, in which a gaggle of peasants treats the supposedly deadly serious business of war as little more than a game, with no real importance. Does the artist intend us to take a Marxist interpretation of this scene, with the implication being that the working classes ought to stick together in solidarity rather than fighting in the wars orchestrated in the interests of their exploiters? Or does the strip merely attempt to paint an accurate picture of its medieval milieu, in which serfs often felt little or no affinity for the clique of specialized warriors who ruled them? Whatever the case, those peasants sure are looking cheery, considering that they’ll almost certainly be enslaved or killed for sport by whoever wins this battle.

Mary Worth, 2/22/10

Sometimes, when poor unlovable Wilbur isn’t in this strip, I forgot how much I love him. Watch him angrily pour something brown and unappetizing out of an oddly shaped bottle! Watch him clumsily grab at his daughter in an attempt to keep her moored in physical reality, and watch her recoil in palpable disgust! Oh Wilbur, this sad little episode will be all over Dawn’s password-protected LiveJournal tonight, but don’t worry, I still love you!