Post Content

Crankshaft, 11/29/10

You know, it seems the holiday season lurches into action earlier and earlier every year. For instance, somebody’s dearest Christmas wish — to see Crankshaft in his underwear — has already arrived, and it isn’t even December yet! Merry Christmas to you, you desperate pervert!

Mary Worth, 11/29/10

Meanwhile, it seems that Adrian has already given herself a Christmas present — the massive dose of high-grade Ecstasy necessary for her to become Mrs. Scott Hewlett without first becoming catatonic with anxiety and self-loathing. She seems to have perhaps overdone it a bit, however, as in panel two she appears to actually be floating several feet off the ground.

Mary Worth plots are generally linear to a fault, so I offer kudos to the strip for jumping over the rest of the wedding preparation and getting right to the rehearsal dinner, before Mary even gets a chance to meddle Jill into submission. I am assuming that Jill is the Amazonian gal in panel one, listing wildly to her right and demanding more booze, all the better to lay the groundwork for a drunken tirade that will prevent anyone but Jill from enjoying themselves tonight. This week may be awesomer than any pool party!

Shoe, 11/29/10

“Ha ha, just kidding, you know I love a good pun! Seriously, though, we see the same prostitutes.”

Post Content

I know I said I’d be back on Monday, but … but … I can’t keep away from the weekend’s comics! It’s a sickness.

Marvin, 11/27/10 and a panel from the Lockhorns, 11/28/10

For instance, had I skipped the weekend I would have missed the moment when Marvin and the Lockhorns stopped pussyfooting around and just owned up to their respective central premises. Marvin threw in a half-assed (see what I did there? I know I’ll be punished for it) pun to try to keep within the conventions of the comic strip form; that Lockhorns, true to the comic’s uncompromising commitment to authenticity, went someplace much, much darker.

Panel from Dick Tracy, 11/28/10

Meanwhile, only two weeks into my Sunday Dick Tracy reading, I’m already quickly falling in love with the Crimestoppers Notebook. Look at this diminutive balding Cubs fan, brazenly proclaiming to all and sundry that he’s planning on being home alone! Even the mysterious trench-coated bad guy has been reduced to open-mouthed shock at his openness on this subject.

Apartment 3-G, 11/28/10

Over in Apartment 3-G, Paul Linski prepares to bust his move. You can tell he has less than honorable intentions towards our Lu Ann because he uses crass abbreviations like “’cuz”. Ha ha, I can’t wait to learn what depraved sex act he’ll think Lu Ann’s request to “move her piano” represents!

Post Content

Just a quick COTW this week, and then I’m taking a belated holiday weekend off. See y’all Monday! Here’s your top comment:

“Come on, Mary. Why look so scared? It’s beautiful when two people find real love. You should give it a chance. What? Why not give it a chance, Mary? Perhaps you should work on whatever problem is holding you back from love. What would Jung say, Mary?” –Comcis Fan

And the funny runners up!

“I thought calling Ziggy a loser was a statement of fact, not an insult. It’s like calling your physician ‘doctor.'” –TheDiva

“I’m inordinately worried about that cup of boiling-hot tea precariously perched on the arm of the couch in today’s Marvin. Actually, ‘worried’ might not be the right term. ‘Hopeful’ might be better.” –Patrick

“Ah! So this ludicrous ‘undercover fisherman’ storyline is just an excuse to have Bill Ellis pose in creepy ways for HR’s next sexual harassment PowerPoint.” –Doctor Handsome

“I guess I just don’t see why this Mark Trail strip has to be from Bill’s point of view anyhow, seeing as he’s just repeating everything Mark’s saying in the first place, sitcom-style. ‘Why yes, Mark, Kelly and her bizarrely Rusty-like face are here. What? Why yes, she IS wearing her modest fuchsia top and apparently masturbating right in front of me. How did you know?'” –els

“I can’t wait for Kelly Welly to get to the fishing hole for a week of bacchanalian debauchery with Mr. Trail. She’ll blow his cover and his mind.” –Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™

“I .. I can’t tell how many eyes that moose has.” –whozitwhatzit

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

• Is your computer running slow? Crucial can help. A memory upgrade is one of the most affordable, effective ways to boost performance! Our tools find the right upgrade — guaranteed compatible. Upgrades for PCs, notebooks, netbooks, and Macs. Affordable, easy to install. Online customer/tech support available.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.