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Crock, 10/27/10

Here is today’s Crock! It is about frolicking about in feces.

Wizard of Id, 10/27/10

Here is today’s Wizard of Id! It is about pretending to have terrible diarrhea, as a cover for plans for vandalism.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/27/10

Here is today’s Rex Morgan, M.D.! It’s about a cancerous prostate with its own Facebook fan page — oh, wait, I’m sorry, Pacebook fan page. This is actually the funniest thing on the comics page today (Rex’s gobsmacked facial expression in particular, as dumb social networking ephemera of all things finally shatters his sangfroid) but good lord I find cutesy fake product names distracting. Even Mary Worth, the squarest strip on the comics page, dares to say Facebook’s name aloud. What are you afraid of, Rex Morgan?

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Mary Worth, 10/26/10

I have to admit that the current Mary Worth plotline, in which Jill is cartoonishly cruel to Adrian and Adrian laughs it off and Mary seethes, hasn’t really done a lot for me. The only thing of real interest is the intensity of the aforementioned Mary-seething. The face she makes today is particularly delightful!

I assume that today will begin the story’s turn, on the logic that the self-loathing Adrian will absorb any amount of abuse without complaint, but you can’t criticize her sainted bullet-ridden fiance. Watch out, Jill! Adrian’s feeble, ineffectual rage will soon be turned against you!

Gasoline Alley, 10/26/10

I haven’t really been paying attention to this Gasoline Alley comical-misunderstandings-leading-to-accusations-of-adultery plot and neither have you, but here, enjoy the denouement, in which Hoogy’s attempts to be poetic and sweet are met with only a grunt of dull-eyed incomprehension.

Family Circus, 10/26/10

Jeffy knows it’s important to determine which animals are patriotic Americans and which are filthy foreigners.

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Hello everyone! Many readers have sent me images and other exciting ITEMS that I haven’t had time to go through this week — I promise to feature them in a future metapost. Apologies if you sent me something and I haven’t responded to you yet! Until then, though, I offer only this comment of the week:

“I’m tempted to make a snarky comment about the desperation of dying print media that they’d print something by Trail, but it really is an article the public needs to know. ‘I trespassed onto private property, harassed an armed senator, and punched the future governor — By Mark Trail.'” –Speck

And the runners up! Also funny!

Today’s Mark Trail takes place in an alternate universe where a small girl and a cute baby deer that you totally didn’t shoot doesn’t constitute the photo op of a lifetime for two politicians.” –JB

“Pet shooting aside, Frank is going to have a hard time selling himself as the ‘family values’ candidate given his total lack of interest in learning or using his step-daughter’s name.” –Thomas B.

“The local obit section, aka ‘Facebook for pluggers.’” –Jake Morgendorffer

“I don’t know why anyone would think Lisa’s Story didn’t have a happy ending. She got away from Les, didn’t she?” –Poteet

“Billy, you’ve only written three large words and some scribbles. Grandmothers around the world are probably posting this on their refrigerators, though. ‘Haha, my grandson is a moron too!'” –Shawn S.

“The bad guy has kicked him twice now, but Lucky hasn’t budged an inch. That little deer’s a fucking badass.” –Doctor Handsome

“He’s right, he may not get to do that much any more, if there is a three-strikes law in his state.” –tbiggs

“MJ: ‘Now I remember! The Moleman once fought the Fantastic Four!’ Peter: ‘What a bunch of chumps! It’s much easier just to let him walk away.'” –Francisco Arrowroot

“I’d be pissed if I was Cody Exner — ripped away from my dad, Cars frontman Ric Ocasek. Paulina smokes to stay thin!” –Sed

“I like to imagine Aunt Iris as having a high-pitched-serial-killer voice when she says ‘Hello, dearie!’ Hello, dearie, would you like to try my pecan pie? My secret ingredient is YOUR BRAINS.” –SamECircle

“Perhaps Bil is holding sweaters while he hides in the bushes because he plans to tackle the trick-or-treaters to the ground and make them put on sweaters, since this is what passes for fun in the Keane Household; they aren’t allowed to play with anything modern so instead they play ‘Sweater Tackle’. I dunno, that seems at least as logical as anything else I can come up with to explain this weirdo’s actions.” –Alison

“I know the perspective in Gil Thorp is generally insane, but does anyone really hang their diploma a millimeter below their drop ceiling?” –Patrick

“I’m betting Tommie walks into rooms saying ‘Where is everyone?’ a lot.” –Paddy

“In the perpetual ’50s of the Family Circus universe, the only people with full Van Dyck beards are Freudian psychoanalysts who came to America in the ’30s to escape the war. This one will evidently be kept very busy.” –Ktrout

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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