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Pluggers, 3/17/10

While I’m not anything close to a coffee fiend, I do speak idiomatic English, and I’m reasonably sure that nobody uses “grind” as a noun to refer to coffee in this way. It actually sounds more like street lingo for some mind-altering drug, possibly one made by grinding up the various prescription medications pluggers inevitably have on hand and then pouring them into a coffee machine.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/17/10

I’m a little bit sad that Toots has pegged Sarah as a squealer. He ought to know, based on his own encounter with the terrifying moppet, that she is as hard as nails and almost certainly subscribes to a “snitches get stitches” philosophy; indeed, he will presumably soon have reasons to regret his own inability to keep his mouth shut.

In the final panel, we see that the Rex Morgan team is attempting to jump on the morose sandwich eating bandwagon that’s been so lucrative for Mary Worth.

Ziggy, 3/17/10

Ha ha, Ziggy’s been programmed by the Reds as some kind of brainwashed assassin! Fortunately, he’ll fail miserably at that like he does in everything else in life, and then we’ll laugh and laugh.

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Wizard of Id, 3/16/10

One of the interesting things about legacy comics is that over the years the edges slowly wear off their high concepts. So, for instance, Hagar the Horrible is a savage Viking chief, but he spends more time bickering with his wife than he does raiding a hapless Europe, and when he does go marauding it’s all done in the most ritualized and bloodless way. Beetle Bailey is in the army, but he’ll never be ordered to shoot anyone or put himself into a position to be shot at, nor will he ever be hauled before a court martial for his various violations of military discipline.

The Wizard of Id is one of several characters, like Funky Winkerbean and the late Kudzu, who found themselves muscled out of the spotlight of the strips ostensibly named after them, and, well, I guess I’ve never really thought of him as all that “dark.” I mean, I suppose he is the royal wizard for a king who routinely tortures his citizens and imprisons them for years without trial, but for the past several decades his powers have mostly been put to use conjuring up minor ghosts and irritating his wife. I dunno, I guess I just expect more malice out of my dark wizards. Another modern punk kid ruined by Harry Potter!

Mary Worth, 3/16/10

If we want more proof of Kurt’s complete insanity, we should look no further than panel two. If I had been shown a picture of some demon nerd, his eyes glowing the most intense and evil brown, attempting to yank off a lock of young Teri Garr’s hair for who knows what foul purpose, I would have wanted nothing to do with him, yet Kurt actively sought him out! There’s nothing such a person wouldn’t be capable of!

In panel one, we see the final stage of Wilbur’s feeding process. Having crammed an entire sandwich down his gullet with a single shove, he’s now keeping his hand in place over his mouth to make sure it doesn’t come back out. When Wilbur eats a sandwich, it stays eaten (most of the time).

Family Circus, 3/16/10

“So why don’t you let me hold on to these, dearies, while I keep them safe for you down at the greyhound track?”

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Folks, I have been pushing myself to the LIMITS OF HUMAN ENDURANCE here at SXSW by trying to fit in show-going and schmoozing and blogging here and elsewhere and writing my show diary for ITworld.com, and reading and collecting your comments has fallen by the wayside! I have only this rather short list of comments, which mostly date from before I left on my trip. They are very funny, but I’m sure there were many funny ones I missed, and I apologize! At any rate, though, here’s the top comment out of the ones I collected:

“Long ago I used to occasionally fantasize about being a beautiful free spirit. The dream is dead.” –Poteet

And the funny runners-up!

“Ha ha, death! Am I right?” –Muffaroo

“It’s now clear what Wilbur and Kurt were up to during the happy days of frolicmania: re-enacting the erotically charged game of accidental touching Wilbur and Abby used to to play in the woods. Kurt took off when Wilbur’s instructions about how to drape the summer dress and how many bangles to wear became too creepily specific.” –Tim Cavanaugh

“Phantom: Those folks on the speedboat — what objects are they holding up? Is this just a rowdy post-Oscars celebration that’s about to turn tragic? Best Sound Mixing co-winner Ray Beckett — nooo!” –Walker of Dog

“Toni’s wording in the first panel makes it sound like something is hanging out of her. This is the grossest romance this side of a Cronenberg film.” –skullcrusherjones

“I finally figured out that the dialog in Mark Trail is written by a third grade girl. I’m not sure why this is happening, but it is. Maybe she doesn’t charge much.” –mustang

“Every time Mark opens his mouth about politics I can’t help but notice that the perspective is so terrible in the strip that there must have been a missing second and third panel in which Go-Lar, Tyrant Lord of All Tortoises ate the entire cast in one bite, only to be punched open from the inside by a half-dozed yet perfectly clean man still rambling about senators.” –Black Drazon

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And here is where we would give thanks to our advertisers, were there any to thank! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot — and how you could be the launch advertiser for our new RSS feed sponsorship — click here.