Post Content

Apartment 3-G, 6/3/10

I’m assuming that Martin and Gabriella are sneaking into 3-G to find and dispose of Roberta’s Chekovian gun, but wouldn’t it be great if Martin has lost all of his money in the recession and the two have been forced to launch a spree of actual breaking and entry? They start with Margo’s apartment — that’s a gimmie, since she gave them a key and all — and then they’ll work their way up to homes where they actually have to break the locks, bickering comically all the while!

Spider-Man, 6/3/10

Some time ago I berated the newspaper Spider-Man strip for just giving up and embracing camp. Now I long for the days when at least I’d have campiness to entertain me. This most recent plot development, in which Sabretooth and Wolverine battle each other endlessly until simultaneously passing out from exhaustion, while Spidey scratches his head like a moron and cracks wise, is some sub-Three Stooges shit.

B.C., 6/3/10

Hey, remember three days ago, when B.C. made a joke with exactly this structure? It was 10 years out of date, but at least you knew what the hell it was supposed to be about. With this one, I’m not sure if we’re supposed to understand that capitalism is a dagger thrust through the heart of humanity, or if it harnesses the opposed forces of love and hate to work together, or what, exactly. I do know, from looking at the two strips next to each other, that no art has been reused; the two identical-looking scenes have been completely redrawn. You have to admire the dedication that shows, I suppose, but I can’t say that the baffling jokes merit the extra work.

Post Content

Crock, 6/2/10

So I’m in the midst of a minor fixation on the geography of the Crock universe, which I dearly hope passes soon. But, while I’m being tortured with it, I may as well share it with you! Today’s baffling segment of physical space is what I assume to be the command center of Crock’s Legionnaire post. This appears to be a vast, unadorned concrete chamber; its only contents are work areas for Crock and his adjutant, which are separated by a good twenty feet of emptiness. The exterior of the fort appears primitive, so I’m assuming this windowless chamber isn’t air conditioned; therefore, we must assume that Crock and Poulet spend their days shouting at each other through the thick, unspeakably hot air, their words echoing off the bare walls. Thus, the fort’s architecture duplicates — and perhaps exacerbates — the brutality of the colonial regime that it houses and represents.

Family Circus, 6/2/10

Uh oh, it looks like Billy’s managed to somehow get a hold of some off-Kompound knowledge, possibly from one of the devil’s own “books”! It’s totally in character for the Keane eldest to use some hard-won nugget of information to prove his superiority over his little brother, but his use of it here is weirdly contextless. Wouldn’t it be easier to make Jeffy feel stupid by pointing out that his attempts to color on a piece of paper that isn’t laid on a surface are doomed to failure? As it is, Jeffy is given an opportunity to offer up one of his trademarked defiantly ignorant comebacks.

Mary Worth, 6/2/10

Her work with Bonnie and Ernie complete, Mary has decided to jump right into another meddle without even the rest-period denoted by a pool party. This is a physically demanding choice — you can see that she’s checking her pulse to make sure that her body can handle it — but she’s highly motivated to reach a new pinnacle of her craft.

Pluggers, 6/2/10

Pluggers have no friends. The people pluggers think are their friends are just those acquaintances too polite to abruptly break off conversations and walk away, no matter how much they want to. Once these people have managed to extract themselves from a plugger’s awkward grip, any promises of future social interaction that were offered up in order to smooth their exit are immediately forgotten.

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 6/1/10

Oh, hey, look, it’s Gil Thorp, where the alt-country star/weirdo/pitching sensation just tried to bean that jerky rich kid from the NutBoy storyline during practice, because said jerky kid has been picking on said alt-country star’s bandmate. Please don’t ask me to explain in more detail or look up their names, as just typing that sentence caused me to start to twitch; today I’m mostly interested in how the team is taking sides in this epic battle. Robb has shown his hatred of bullying and injustice before, assuming that guy from last summer’s storyline is the same Robb; they don’t appear to look anything alike, but this is Gil Thorp, so that doesn’t mean anything, and how many guys named “Robb” can there be, really. Most fascinating is Team Blaine and Not-Blaine in panel three. Who are these mysterious, handsome young men? Why do they value in-group loyalty over social peace in the larger polity? Did they confer on this point before Not-Blaine spoke for both of them, or are their opinions so in tune that they didn’t feel such consultation was necessary? I look forward to none of these questions being answered, ever, but I’ll always remember the day they looked creepily at the reader and mouthed awkwardly written dialogue to move the plot along.

Ziggy, 6/1/10

Did you know that the parrot in Ziggy is named Josh? I have managed to avoid commenting on this shameful fact over nearly six years of comics blogging, but now that the damn bird is apparently trying to muscle in on my territory, I feel compelled to speak out. Hey, parrot, you appear to be shaking! You’d better be shaking in fear, because comics-mocking is my schtick, got it? There’s only one way a bird ought to be commenting on any printed matter, and that is by defecating on it.

(Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if Dagwood were confronted with a wrap, though? He’d presumably be baffled by any foodstuff introduced to mainstream American palates after 1945. Ha ha! Dagwood eating a wrOH GOD OH GOD DON’T LET THE BIRD GET TO YOU JOSH HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER)

Mary Worth, 6/1/10

Aw, look, Mary has fixed the hell out of Bonnie and Ernie’s marriage, to the extent that they’re just going to start rutting right there in the hospital waiting room. How sweet! This handsome but obviously lovelorn doctor is so enchanted by Mary’s success that he’s found himself unwittingly falling into her gravity well.