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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/3/23

You know, the story of Rene is a true tragedy, and not just because he tried and failed to kill a late-middle-aged man, who then further humiliated him by risking his own life to save him from the sea. No, I’m talking about the fact that Rene does not love himself enough to see himself as anything other than a crook. He really did teach Sarah about art, before she got amnesia! He was a kind and supportive mentor to Galexia, his new-age grift partner! And it seems like whatever mumbo jumbo he came up with for his Augustus Mirakle persona helped Mud really move past some of his many, many personality problems. Truly, he has the power to help and to heal, if he’d only allow himself feel his own capacity for good.

Family Circus, 5/3/23

Jesus, look at how smug these two are at pulling off one of the dumbest wordplay act-outs the world’s ever seen. Thank God they usually despise each other so they don’t team up on bullshit like this more often. I hate it.

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Crock, 5/2/23

Clearly a lot of Crock strips will have you saying “What on earth is going on here,” but today’s Crock really has me saying, “No, really, what on earth is going on here?” I guess we’re meant to understand that the French Foreign Legion’s militarized colonial regime makes a mockery of the rights to free speech as laid out in the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen, but it’s very funny that the way this is conveyed is by having Crock declare that “signs are illegal!” And honestly, this angle just seems like it’s adding unnecessary confusion to a joke about how Grossie is protesting (?) something in a hypocritical way, but the engine for that middle panel’s gotta come from somewhere, I guess.

Mary Worth, 5/2/23

Wait, did we know that Dr. Ed was widowed? I don’t think we did, and I am enjoying Estelle carefully composing a neutral position for her facial features as she processes this information and begins to grasp that Ed’s issues might go a bit beyond “burned out at work.” Just another successful Mary Worth romantic yoga session!

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Dustin, 5/1/23

A truly incredible thing to keep in mind about Dustin is that it’s a comic that debuted in January 2010, when, in the aftermath of the global financial crisis, unemployment was higher than it had been at any time since the Great Depression, and its whole deal was that college grads who had to move home because they couldn’t find jobs were just lazy, entitled brats whose problems were entirely a product of their bad character. It’s really only today, with joblessness at historic lows, that the times have caught up with the strip’s premise, although now the economic big brains are loudly proclaiming that we need more unemployment in order to fight inflation, so maybe Dustin needs to start arguing that actually, by being unemployable, he’s helping in macroeconomic terms.

Hi and Lois, 5/1/23

In other generational warfare news, Hi is a white-collar suburban dad in a legacy comic strip so he feels like he should be a Boomer, but based on the age of his kids he’s probably in his mid-to-late 40s, and, you know what, usually us Gen Xers are just glad to be noticed, but I’m sorry, I will not sit here and be lectured to by Chip fucking Flagston of all people.

The Lockhorns, 5/1/23

You ever have an older relative that you remember always “taking a nap on the couch” during family functions when you were a kid, and you only realized later probably hated big gatherings in their house and self-medicated by getting drunk? Well, in unrelated news, Leroy has “run out of gas” during Loretta’s attempt to share a pleasant afternoon with him.

Dick Tracy, 5/1/23

This sounds like a great way for the Red Cross to destroy its role as a neutral aid organization and ensure that no government ever gave them access to POWs ever again! On the other hand, do we know for sure they didn’t do this for Axis POWs too? Maybe they were just opposed to the idea of holding prisoners of war in general.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/1/23

“This is Rex Morgan, M.D., for pete’s sake! Do you realize that something interesting briefly happened? Unacceptable!”