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Got a pretty adorable pic from faithful reader Frank Parsnip, featuring the 9-month-old Parsnip twins, Emma and Anthony, resplendent in their Comics Curmudgeon wear:

The Parsnip clan was on a trip to Korea when this pic was taken, which means that the sight of Jungle Patrol and Fist O’ Justice themed paraphernalia was probably even more baffling to passersby than usual. Remember, it’s easy for me to put logos on baby and toddler clothes, so email me if you’d like to make sure that 20 years from now your kids find their baby pictures completely inscrutable.

Speaking of Fists O’ Justice, a faithful reader sent me a link to their new blog: The Fists Of Justice League! Basically, it features Mark Trail and other comic characters punching people. Check it out!

Oh yeah, and it’s Monday! That means it’s COTW time:

“It strikes me as admirably in character that Cathy has an untidily assembled sack of ‘Tax Stuff.’ Undoubtedly she has a whole closet full of shopping bags variously labeled ‘Diet Brownie Recipes,’ ‘Oprah Transcripts,’ and ‘Rejected Bad Hair Day Joke Submissions to Reader’s Digest.’ (Oh, Cathy! We know you’re having a bad hair LIFE!!!) The largest of these, ‘Suicide Notes,’ is actually the most organized, broken down as it is into subcategories such as ‘Irving’s Fault,’ ‘Irving’s Parents’ Fault,’ ‘Swimsuit Manufacturers’ Fault,’ and a simple ‘Ack!!’ in an assortment of fonts.” –Violet

And to give appreciation to our runners up!

“Um, does Milford High HAVE geeks? I’ve seen brutes, jocks, and ne’er-do-wells, but geeks?” –Dick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary

“This new Mary Worth storyline has so much potential — potential for DEATH!” –Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell

“We finally get a look at one of Alan’s paintings: a monochromatic cityscape. Well, I guess they say ‘paint what you know,’ and if there’s one thing Alan knows, it’s the view out the window of his studio. That, and shooting smack.” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“You cannot make both art and money. Alan is still on drugs.” –doug rogers

“That’s right Lu Ann, go make that tea, men are talking. Your flighty blonde femininity would only dilute the raw masculinity that now permeates this room, neckerchiefs and polo shirts aside.” –Mr. Lemon

“I would like to make a guest appearance in [Funky Winkerbean] as a smiling killer. I’d like to see all the petty and smug expressions replaced with looks of abject horror as they realize they’re going to die … JUST … LIKE … LISA, but much faster. Of course, this story arc would appear only on the weekends so we could enjoy the main characters’ demise in four colors.” –trey le parc

“I like how the new [Gil Thorp] artist has quickly picked up on how the characters’ facial features tend to slide in random directions from panel to panel. Poor Mimi in panel two looks like a manufacturing mishap at an inflatable sex doll factory.” –Trilobite

“Ah, springtime. When a young man’s fancy turns to baseball, and vaguely homoerotic terminology for baseball.” –gkl

“It’s a good thing ‘the Mooch Man’ is content with singlehood, because anyone who goes around calling himself ‘the Mooch Man’ has no hope of ever marrying. Or dating. Or having pity sex.” –TheDiva

“I see Mary has learned post-Aldomania that her meddle-to-murder turnover was taking just too damn long the old way, so now she’s hassling people already on their deathbeds.” –Hawkeye

“It looks as if Swiss Guy has his eyes closed, which may account for his bad marksmanship. I’m not much of a shooter, myself, but keeping one’s eyes open seems key. Contrast that with the zombie-like stares of the ladies. They won’t miss, I assure you.” –nancois

“My point is, I think if I were a masked superhero protecting my secret identity’s wife from a villain, I wouldn’t call her by her nickname in front of him and then stuff money in his mouth. I’d say something like ‘STAND BACK MA’AM’ and then … use … my … powers … you know, this scenario just doesn’t fit Spider-Man at all. Never mind.” –kostia

We must also give a big thanks to everyone who put a bit of scratch in my tip jar this week! And, of course, we give big thanks to our advertisers:

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Gil Thorp, 4/14/08

Gil Thorp is wading into the controversial topic of illegal immigration in typically baffling style. I’m not quite sure what Whitey McButtchin is getting at. Is our avuncular Rotarian saying that immigrants should follow Vargas’s legal path to US residency? That the 1986 amnesty allowed Armando and other illegal immigrants from his generation to become integrated members of U.S. society? That the Rotary Club should be given control of America’s borders? Whatever it is, Gil looks pissed, possibly because the mention of a Spanish surname prompted unsolicited commentary on immigration policy from his seatmate, but more likely because he’s bored and hungry. “Oh yeah, this is why I don’t take an interest in my students’ lives,” he reminds himself.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/14/08

Snuffy Smith today also ventures into political territory, with the Patriot Act and other domestic spying programs finally proving too much for the backwoods libertarian. His anger is largely academic, as his proud decision to live “off the grid” in Hootin’ Holler largely shields him from the prying high-tech eyes of the NSA; this is a strategy that already has served him well in his long-standing attempts to avoid paying excise tax to the revenuers on his corn likker. The parson, however, casts his gaze upwards and subtly reminds him of Yahweh, the Ultimate Spy, whose omniscience takes in all of our deeds and even thoughts; this causes Snuffy’s hat to vibrate in a righteous fear of the LORD.

Apartment 3-G, 4/14/08

My guess is that Lu Ann’s smirk in panel three indicates her joy in hearing about people who are even dumber than she is. But it could just be some kind of facial spasm caused by the aftereffects of the brain damage.

Marmaduke, 4/14/08

Marmaduke allowed himself a brief moment of introspection and even remorse before he began devouring the old man in earnest.

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Cathy, 4/13/08

I know it’s not “cool” to admit to being amused by Cathy, but I have to say that wading through all that text to get to the final word balloon was really worth it today. If the thought of Cathy reduced to such penury that she can only quench her thirst by desperately licking at her own salty, salty tears doesn’t bring a smile to your face, then you have a heart of stone, my friend.

Hi and Lois, 4/13/08

High on the list of Things I Have Spent Too Much Time Thinking About This Sunday: Why is Hi unshaven in this comic? Is this to represent the many hours he’s spent fretting over the family taxes? But in the opening panels, he’s clearly just getting started, but still sports a Don Johnson-esque stubble. Does it instead indicate that on weekends he takes a more relaxed attitude towards facial hair? But then, would he still put on a shirt and tie to do his taxes in his home office? I WANT ANSWERS DARN IT.

Further down on the list, but still nagging: “Tax Bat,” what the hell.

Slylock Fox, 4/13/08

The answer to this puzzle, if you can’t read it, involves Slylock swimming over to that overturned car and breathing the air out of the tires. This seems a little dubious to me, not least because he’ll have to engage in paw-to-tentacle combat with that octopus, which appears to be getting amorous with the submerged vehicle. My proposed solution? Just limit Max’s air intake. I’m sure that a little oxygen deprivation won’t do his already feeble brain any harm.

Meanwhile, that huge-eyed baby beaver will be haunting my dreams for weeks. The fact that it’s reproduced four times makes the top quarter of this comic more terrifying than Eraserhead.