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Dick Tracy, 4/30/08

Yes, you might say poetic justice, if in fact there were any poetic justice in the situation whatsoever. I suppose Cole Lector was rich, but it’s not as if Dab Stract or the police are going to be handing over his money and geegaws to the poor now that he’s been killed. In fact, the whole notion of redistribution of wealth ought to make Dick so righteously angry that he’d grab that Red bow out of Dab Stract’s hands and break it over his knee, just like he would snap that Commie Robin Hood’s spine, if he could lay his hands on him. The only possible answer is that Dick is not in fact listening to a word Dab Stract or anyone else is saying, and is just interjecting random tough-guy bon mots whenever he becomes vaguely aware that there’s a lull in the conversation. It would explain a lot about the disjointed dialogue in this strip.

Crankshaft, 4/30/08

Ha ha! Crankshaft’s an angry old man that nobody likes, and he’s about to be stung all over his face by bees! Oh, it doesn’t take much to warm the cockles of my black, black heart.

Family Circus, 4/30/08

“Well, there has to be some reason. For starters, it would help if I liked you.”

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Luann, 4/29/08

You know what? I like Gunther. You know, he’s dorky, and he’s even got some hobbies (like sewing) don’t seem cool even to other dorks, but he also seems totally comfortable with who he is, something I wish that my dorky high school self could have been. His little speech to Luann in panel two is both eminently sensible and very sweet.

…and then, of course, he pulls out the horrifying fetishistic pig head. You just know there’s a ball gag behind that snout. Next come the handcuffs.

Slylock Fox, 4/29/08

Yeah, laugh it up, birds! You know, poor Baldy McMustache has a dull office job that crushes his soul, and the only thing that keeps him going is his hobby watching the beautiful birds as they fly and sing in his yard. Maybe he just wanted to make the yard a little more inviting for you, to give a little something back for the hours of happiness he’s gotten from bird-watching. Sure, he doesn’t have particularly good carpentry skills, but it’s the thought that counts! The least you could do is coo politely. But no, you just have to humiliate him in front of his kid. Well, I hope you like poisoned birdseed, you ungrateful feathered bastards, because you’d better believe that’s what’s going into the feeder tomorrow morning.

Judge Parker, 4/29/08

I don’t mean to take anything away from No-Legged Steve’s awesome lawyering skills, but it’s easy to do a week’s worth of work in a day when you had your morning coffee a month ago. In fact, by my reckoning, Steve could have actually done four times as much legal eaglin’ as he actually pulled off! Way to go, slacker.

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Do you like comments? Do you want to hear this week’s top offerings? Then this post is for you, my friend. Here’s #1:

“If I had to pick a job best suited for chronic masturbators, ‘worldwide-sporting-event-organizing travel agent’ probably wouldn’t even make the top ten. But hey, if that’s his fantasy, he should go ahead and grab it with both hands. Or one hand. Or whatever. I don’t need to know the details, dude.” –Trilobite

And the runners-up:

“RE: Earth Day strips. The only recycling these strips inspire in me is recycling a bit of my dinner up into my mouth.” –Hank

“Parents who practice to Friedmanian monetarist notions of macroeconomics have children who practice Friedmanian monetarist notions of macroeconomics.” –Lolsworth

“Wait, is Mark supposed to be in a seedy motel room? Double wait, what the hell did that call interrupt?” –skullcrusherjones

“Sturdevant has the hots for Ada because she has no chin, which is the only kind of girl he’s physically able to kiss.” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“I’ll say one thing for Mary Worth — in the months since I started reading it, it hasn’t attempted to educate me about anything except meddling.” –Poteet

“The sheer delight on Lu Ann’s face will vanish as soon as she discovers that he is not going to pull a quarter from behind her ear.” –Gabacho

“HOLY CRAP there is a male in A3G who I can tell apart from all the other males in A3G, what is this madness.” –terrene

“I like how we never see the rack on which Abbey is putting away the plates. Because another rack would just be redundant.” –RaJ

And it’s also the time when we give a big thanks to everyone who put a bit of scratch in my tip jar this week, and when we thank our fabulous advertisers:

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