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Remember, people: If you get an infantile urge to giggle every time you hear the phrase “Work them like a claw … and call me Randy,” then you should buy either the men’s or women’s working-it-like-a-claw-themed shirt over at the Comics Curmudgeon store. Then you should take a picture of yourself wearing it and send it to me, like faithful reader Bigfoot did:

I think Randy and April were eating Chinese food, not sushi, but you have to admire her dedication to verisimilitude.

(If you don’t have a clue as to what the hell this is about, click here and scroll down.)

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Mary Worth, 8/5/06

Damn, you know Aldo wants some of that sweet, sweet Mary action pretty bad, because he’s practically begging to be her on-the-side man. Aldo, Aldo: I know she’s hot stuff, but have a little self-respect. If she’s too embarrassed to be seen with you at Delicious Pursuits, then don’t humiliate yourself just to get in on the down low.

Mark Trail, 8/5/06

You might think Kelly Welly is FOOLISH and UNPREDICTABLE, but this is actually part of her sophisticated mate-assessment strategy: the only man worthy of being Wellyed is the man who will fight a bear for her love. So far, Ranger Rick is in the lead. I just hope the bear didn’t damage his pretty, pretty face.

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They’ll Do It Every Time, 8/4/06

Determining anyone’s age in the cultural-cues disaster area that is TDIET is of course nearly impossible, but this little girl seems way, way too old to be saying anything like “Ook-ook-ooko.” To my eye, she looks to be maybe four or five. Or a 45-year-old dwarf.

Crock, 8/4/06

Love to beat on Crock today, but I’m still tired from beating on the dead horse I’ve been beating since, oh, about when I started reading this strip.