Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/18/21

“Wow, so instead of straining to come up with story elements ex nihilo like I’ve been doing, you used aspects of your everyday life for raw material? Brilliant! By the way, you’ve never heard of ‘character rights,’ have you? Great, great.”

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 7/18/21

Have you ever wanted to see an elderly Viking woman learning the basics of supply and demand curves … the hard way? Well, the throwaway panels from today’s Hagar the Horrible are for you, my friend.

Hi and Lois, 7/18/21

I’m actually kind of surprised that legacy cartoonists, who have some of the most secure jobs on the planet, don’t just straight-up put their erotic fantasies in their strips more often. I’m definitely not surprised that those erotic fantasies involve golf, though.

Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/17/21

YOU, A SIMPLE CLOD: “Wow, this joke doesn’t work at all. It’s a real stretch for something that’s not even funny.”

ME, A COMICS-ANALYZING INTELLECTUAL: [paralyzed by the choice between posting a map of the pin-pen merger in order to narrow down Hootin’ Holler’s location and writing up a rant about how Silas is the most educated person in Hootin’ Holler and the least likely to misspell a simple word like “tint”]

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/17/21

Hey, remember Kyle’s terrible case of writer’s block, which set this whole plotline in motion? Well, it got solved, off-panel, somehow. Bet that takes a real load off your mind, huh?

Blondie, 7/17/21

“No, my husband just flings food around the kitchen. Look at this shit! You think anything vaguely palatable is going to come out of this process?”

Post Content

[Little joke introducing the COTW goes here]

“Removing the border between the last two panels of today’s Dennis the Menace would work so much better on every conceivable level. How do you get aesthetically outflanked by Hi and Lois? How do you even show up to work the next day after that happens? How do you face your family?” –Dan

[Slightly longer joke introducing the runners up goes here]

“In his childhood memory he’s smoking a pipe and wearing the same clothes he’s wearing at the moment. This is a man blocking out his childhood and creating alternate memories. Hi & Lois is about to get real dark.” –Donny Ferguson, on Twitter

“Oh, cool, this is that classic sitcom plot where the spouses trade jobs for a week. Henry will learn that household chores are a pain in the ass, and Alice will learn that if you work as an aerospace engineer without any training, your rocket will blow up and kill half a dozen people on the ground.” –Anonymous

“Ah yes, mowing, mowing all the time. Mowing and smoking, smoking and mowing. I wonder which was the bigger addiction? I was the mowing-est, smoking-est kid in town. I used to mow all the neighbors’ yards for free. There’s no joy in finishing off a pouch of Captain Black without having some grass to mow at the same time. I wonder… would it really do that much harm to just clean up that little patch of grass Chip left? Do I still have one of my old pipes in that box in the garage, or did we throw it away? Maybe I’ll just… No, Hi, no! That way lies madness! I’d better text the kid.” –Peanut Gallery

“This strip is about space coupes crashing into Jupiter, and yet the single most implausible element is Diet Smith smoking indoors without incident.” –Joe Blevins

It crashed on Jupiter! Jupiter, Florida, near the campus of Florida Atlantic University, to be exact. Go Owls! Given that it launched from Cape Kennedy, about 120 miles north, I’m guessing they weren’t very good pilots. Or maybe I’m a terrible engineer. Either way, there’s a heap of scrap filled with bloated bodies in Jupiter, Tracy, and I know that’s the sort of thing that gets you excited.” –Voshkod

“I also made lemonade but I have no idea if it’s any good because my socks are too tight. Does any of this make sense? Is this how things work?” –Shoe Substitutes

“Since disc golf is really taking off these days, I can’t wait to read a comic where Hi is vaguely baffled by Chip playing this wild new sport that cheapens his beloved pastime. I imagine this comic will run 15-20 years from now.” –Tristan Olson, on Twitter

“Do the birds of Shoe not have dictaphones or shorthand? Maybe that’s why they’re always so weary and surrounded by piles of paper, because they’re always trying to write out 180 word a minute speeches by hand.” –Schroduck

“For a professional comics snarker, Josh still has a lot to learn. When it comes to legacy comics, there are certain things that are inherently hilarious and serve as punchlines on their own with no need for wordplay or embellishment. For example: present day technology, unexpected visits from relatives, mentioning a one-dimensional character’s sole trait, the weather, and above all golf. And if you can manage to combine some of these factors, such as a strip where a character can’t go golfing because it’s raining or his mother-in-law is in town or he can’t figure out how to reserve a tee time with his newfangled iTelephone, well then, you have what is known as a genu-ine gutbuster, sure to adorn the cubicle walls of your least-tolerable coworkers.” –jroggs

“I know golfers enjoy playing golf. I know golfers enjoy watching golf. But I can’t believe golfers enjoy listening to other golfers tell golf stories as much as those other to golfers are listening to hat guy’s golf story. Surely the only actual pleasure they’re feeling is from understanding every word of golf jargon and feeling part of the in group.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I think we’re supposed to hate Ashlee because she’s a grifter, but hear me out: what if we hate Drew for being the easiest mark ever? Like, damn dude, how do you remember to breathe.” –Twiggy Peas, Champion of England, on Twitter

“I don’t have any money. I already told you that I live with my dad, my watch was a gift, and I work at the People’s Clinic. Also, I gave Mary Worth my power of attorney after I loaned Shauna money for her political campaign.” –Mysterion

“Ha, look at the waitress’s face: despite her best efforts, she is now picturing Mr Wilson in the shower. I hope you’re taking notes, Dennis, Mrs Wilson is the real menace.” –pugfuggly

“Wait, he invented perfect deepfakes and he used the technology just to put a comic strip into reruns?! I have never seen such a big waste of talent and mental capacity on useless things like comics since that time Josh opened this blog!” –Ettorre

“What know ye of laughter, Barney Google and Snuffy Smith? WHAT KNOW YE?!!” –Matt McKinney

“The setup would work better if Jughaid was about to get a shot, except that we might have had to look at his stubbly misshapen buttocks instead.” –nescio

[Sales pitch block: check to see if I’ve updated these recently first]

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

[Little thank you for reading this far goes here :) ]