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Blondie, 7/7/19

I know that it’s in the throwaway panels, but it bothers me so much that the “dental checkup” angle here never becomes part of the joke or is otherwise followed up on. He could’ve just said something about being late for a generic appointment. But now it’s a Chekov’s Gun that will never go off, lurking on the wall of my mind indefinitely. How are Dagwood’s teeth? How are Dagwood’s teeth, damn it! Is there something funny about them???

Funky Winkerbean, 7/7/19

I really enjoy Cindy’s smug smile in the final panel here. “You’re catching on, kid. Technology doesn’t really change anything: people are awful to each other and they always have been. The human race is fundamentally rotten and it’ll be good when we’re all dead!”

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Mark Trail, 7/6/19

I gotta say, as Things You Could Be Mad At Mark Trail About go, getting mad that he gets to take exotic vacations on the company dime and writes maybe three stories a year is pretty good! It’d be a little more realistic if this complaint weren’t coming from JJ, the proprietor of a well-stocked and presumably highly profitable outdoorwear and mining equipment retailer, but rather from some poor underpaid content producer jealous of Mark’s cushy staff job. “I write three to five hot takes a week on breaking news and I get paid $150 a pop,” the embittered web drone would say, thrusting the gun in Mark’s direction. “I’m a contractor and don’t get health insurance! They don’t have fact checkers and if I get something wrong they hang me out to dry! How dare you, sir!”

Funky Winkerbean, 7/6/19

Jess and Cindy are doing research for their documentary about Butter Brinkel by … watching a documentary about Butter Brinkel? Have they considered just telling people there’s a documentary they can watch that’s already been made? Someone went through all the trouble of putting it together and everything.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/6/19

“Maybe, but it seems like it’d be a lot of work, so, you know, enh. What do you wanna do for dinner?”

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Folks, we’re still in the midst of a long holiday weekend here in the U.S., but I’m still plug(ger)ing away on my blog to bring you the comment … of the week!

“Henrietta Beak (not shown) is busy taking her company-paid holiday to celebrate the birth of our nation, like a true plugger patriot. Meanwhile, these lazy, self-entitled dog-men think they’re getting participation trophies for showing up when the job site is closed.” –Carsick Yankee

And also the hilarious runners up!

“‘I only wish my husband would not eat himself to the grave‘ is probably the most affectionate thing Martha has ever said in sixty years.” –Ettore

“Pluggers save their vacation for special occasions, like the opening of a new Golden Coral buffet and attending funerals of fellow pluggers.” –ZeroWolf

“What I find most interesting about this strip is that Alice attempts a punchline with ‘I think that’s why they call it working out.’ But it is so unfunny that Mrs. Wilson decides to just keep talking and pretend it didn’t happen. In the last panel, Dennis schools his mom by demonstrating that a quality Dennis the Menace punchline needs to be both a strained pun and a cheap shot at Mr. Wilson.” –Jenna

“Best part of Slylock Fox is the rage on Chief Mutt’s face as Wanda lies to him, and the downcast expressions of Slylock and Max, as they realize that yet again they will be called on to perjure themselves in the police brutality investigation.” –Rube

“I think the humans take it in turns to commit petty crimes like this so the Glorious Animal Regime’s top enforcer will spend all his time focusing on them and ignore the real work of the Resistance. Next week is Slick Smitty’s turn, and he’s got an ‘Authentic Antarctic Polar Bear Fur’ scam all lined up.” –TheDiva

“Yes, these hot dogs sure are a quintessential part of summer. Now let’s go to family court and try to win back custody of Trixie.” –Joe Blevins

“Ha, I like how Mary looks directly to the reader in that last panel. ‘I love filling for him while he’s away, just like you, my audience, loves it too. It’s so much nicer when we can just dispense with the plot and get straight to the raw, uncut advice, isn’t it?’” –pugfuggly

“I defected from the NBA. But it seems the Party’s tentacles reach even into Virginia. Now we need your help to throw them off my trail. We figure you’re the last person they’d associate with professional sports.” –Peanut Gallery

“I’m disappointed that the camera in Mary Worth is just going to linger on Charterstone and not on the drama in Mozambique, as the long-simmering civil war between RENAMO and FRELIMO finally comes to an end as the two sides unite in their hatred of Wilbur.” –Voshkod

“Sam just can’t wait to unload that kid. ‘Here, go play with…’ Abby gives him the evil eye and a quick shake of her head. ‘Sophie! Yeah, Sophie. She’s got to be around somewhere.’” –Col. Havoc

Randy, no! Look, why don’t you take out your resentments by going back to work and throwing the book at a bunch of people for minor offenses? Lock them up for 10-20 years for shoplifting or whatever. Make them suffer like your dad is. Vicarious revenge can be a wonderful tonic.” –cheech wizard

Today’s Judge Parker presents a real… SOPHIE’S CHOICE. Oh and I think her WASP dad is dying or got fired? IDK” –Irrischano

“Now, a clever bad guy would have let the three of them dig all the gold out of the mine, and then show up with the gun. Now he has to shoot them all and then do all that work. Gold is heavy.” –Ukulele Ike

“Sure, we all know that Pluggers, Slylock Fox, and probably Shoe are set after the Great Disaster from Kamandi: Last Boy on Earth, but for my money not enough is made of the fact Beetle Bailey is about a supposed US Army regiment that has zero contact with the greater military organisation, is never actually deployed anywhere, has a surprisingly small contingent with an oddly flattened rank structure (a general, a major, two lieutenants, two sergeants, one corporal, eight privates, and a handful of civilian staff), and is clearly home to one of Count Weirdly’s early experiments in ripping off Dr Moreau. The reason I bring this up today is because I notice Sarge’s flag only has five stripes, presumably symbolising the five regions of America (probably not actually entire states) which have not been conquered by the beastmen. Actually, Camp Swampy hasn’t heard from any of the others in a while, but you have to hope for the best, right?” –Horace Broon

Getting hit on the head with a greasy spatula on a regular basis might explain why his hair has always had that luxurious sheen.” –Where’s Rocky

“I’m pretty sure Gil not asking for details has less to do with his penis, and more to do with him not giving a shit.” –Rosstifer

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