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It’s time for this week’s funniest comment … of the week!

“I would not give up on him too quickly. His last two girlfriends wound up with much younger, hotter men. I’m not sure you’re at that point yet.” –cheech wizard

The runners up? Also very funny!

“Snuffy sorted the leaves by color, probably while on a meth jag.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Marie, it would be so great to have you back. Maybe Sophie would open up and emotionally connect with you. And it would open up a world of dramatic possibilities for this comic strip if the gangster cartel that you are hiding from murdered you on the front porch of my B&B! Welcome back.” –greenantler

“Wouldn’t wearing a helmet be counterproductive if trying to die in a car crash? Bull always was the stupid one.” –Rusty

“I like how the last two panels seem to have a spotlight shining down, as if to assure us that yes, there are some vaudeville-era puns being dropped, even if we can’t hear them.” –pugfuggly

“You’re dating Wilbur… and you’re thinking of dumping him because his Netflix tastes do not perfectly fit with yours?! How can you be too and not enough picky at the same time?!” –Ettorre

“Just to recap, Estelle’s last boyfriend was a grotesque con artist who lied about who he was, fleeced her for thousands of dollars, and verbally abused her. The fact that she considers Wilbur a better choice — but only slightly — is pretty sad, man.” –BigTed

“Maybe some fans of this strip didn’t get that it’s really Bull who died. There are a lot of conspiracy theories floating around out there. But now you have it from an authoritative source: the paper of record that didn’t bother to look up the deceased’s real name and publishes death notices in Comic Sans.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“They forgot the indicator but today’s Funky Winkerbean is actually part of the flashback series from last week, giving us a rare glimpse at one of Westview’s famous daily funeral rehearsals.” –Cheddar Monkey

“First the Mutts came for the humans and I said nothing because they were so cute and had a good point.” –RexDartEskimoPi, on Twitter

“Meanwhile, The Phantom’s Asterisk Box, isn’t it time you came up with a real name for the language spoken by the Bandar? Here‘s a Wikipedia article on Afroasiatic languages. Go wild.” –matt w

“I sure would hate to see the Pavlovian experiment necessary to forge the psychological link between praise and suddenly needing to pee.” –Lionheart

“The only remotely interesting part of this Rex Morgan plotline so far is today’s reveal that Mindy has quite a wide variety of interests when it comes to the plotlines of the softcore pornography she’s streaming.” –Brad

“Howard Johnson had 28 flavors in the thirties. Pluggers live in a house of lies.” –gleeb

“Anyway, that‘s gonna be the opening of Bull’s Story. Isn’t it brilliant? God, I’m good.” –Rosstifer

“Man, I don’t get why everyone says not to speak ill of the dead. It’s so much better than speaking ill of the living, who might retaliate!” –JJ48

Bittersweet Nugget is the flavor of your final memories of your dead wife, sir, now in ice cream form! We also have Fumbling Romance, which is the flavor of your initial overtures toward her, Uncomfortable Silence, for that time when you admitted you thought her sister was prettier, Rocky Regrets, for when you nearly got divorced but stayed together for the kids, and Plain Vanilla, for the rest of your life.” –Voshkod

“All hail the rhino, saving us from another day of Dr. Camel talking about how boring other people’s lives are! We can only hope rhinos continue to keep a watchful eye on the strip, destroying something any time we get too bogged down in standard dull-as-dishwater dialogue.” –Conynaut

“Oh, Mary, you hopeless romantic. Everyone should be so lucky to meet that special someone that they can look in the eye year after year and truthfully say those magic words, ‘Overall I enjoy your company.’” –jroggs

“What’s the intended joke even supposed to be here? ‘Ha ha wimmen am I right — always carefully considering a purchase that could run $100 or more!’” –Alex Parker-Spencer-Driver

“Estelle and Mary enjoy an invigorating walk down by the Charterstone mosquito hatchery.” –Ukulele Ike

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Blondie, 10/11/19

A little something about me, folks: I have plantar fasciitis and various hip/lower/back/hamstring problems, which means that shoes that don’t work exactly right for me can cause me a lot of cumulative physical discomfort. Right now pretty much the only shoes I wear that aren’t dress shoes (and thank goodness I barely ever have to wear dress shoes) are these bad boys from Keen plus their sandal equivalent, both of which I own in multiple colors at any given time. And so while to my eyes Dagwood’s shoes look wildly uncomfortable, I respect the fact that he spotted the grey version of the brown shoes he always wears on sale and immediately snapped them up.

Family Circus, 10/11/19

Here’s another little something about me: I’m a huge baby about horror movies and thus almost never watch them, but I do like to read the plot descriptions of the really popular ones on Wikipedia, where, stripped of the filmmaking arts, they just come off as vaguely ridiculous. Anyway, based on the Wikipedia plot summary of 2018’s Hereditary (and, uh, spoilers ahead for a year-old film, I guess), Billy’s “trouble” is that he was supposed to be the human host for an ancient demon worshipped by a coven led by his grandmother, but the evil spirit was implanted in Jeffy instead, which quite honestly explains quite a lot.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/11/19

This is kind of Linda to say, but of course Buck already knew. They had already expressed deep intimacy the only way Funkyverse characters know how: by engaging in awful wordplay together.

Mary Worth, 10/11/19

Look, Estelle, are you expecting emotional fulfillment from a heterosexual relationship with a man? You think I’m happy with Dr. Jeff? I barely even like Dr. Jeff. Now get out there and become Wilbur’s girlfriend, for the love of Christ.”

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Mary Worth, 10/10/19

OK, uh, Mary, remember how Wilbur just like, what, six months ago in strip time completely lost his mind in a jealous rage over his ex? His ex who he had dumped for his scam girlfriend (wait: have Wilbur and Estelle talked about their history of being scam victims yet????) and then became enraged when it turned out she had moved on? I’m not sure if Mary genuinely thinks those are just “endaring quirks” or if in fact is losing her interest in interfering in Estelle and Wilbur’s lives. It’s like she knows they aren’t right together but just wants them safely paired off so she can stop worrying about them. And that has me worried about Mary. When she’s lost her zest for meddling, that means something’s seriously wrong and she needs to be evaluated for depression or worse.

Mark Trail, 10/10/19

Oh, snap, it looks like our heroes were spending so much time making sure they weren’t attacked by fake, made-up animals that they forgot to guard against endangered but still very real animals! Thank goodness the Cryptozoology Department at whatever college gave Dr. Camel tenure picked up the tab for rental car insurance this time around, because otherwise Woods and Wildlife reporters on assignment would be taking a lot of Lyft rides in the future.