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Mary Worth, 2/7/22

OK, I’ve been agitating for a while for another Toby and/or Ian storyline, so I’m hoping that today’s strip heralds a transition to a glorious Toby and/or Ian storyline and isn’t just another opportunity for someone else to react to Wilbur by chuckling “Ha ha! That’s our Wilbur!”

Assuming this is, in fact, the end Wilbur Winter and the beginning of a Cameron Springtime, I feel like we’re laying some good groundwork with this sad little birthday party for Toby, which is taking place in the Camerons’ frankly cramped living room, where the spread consists entirely of a bottle of champagne and three muffins, with the only attendees being Mary and Wilbur. I guess Wilbur and Estelle haven’t made up enough for her to be his date to this shindig, eh? Or maybe she just never cared for Toby. Either way would make perfect sense, to be honest. Too bad Toby has literally no other friends to invite! Not even anyone from the downtown art center! Overall the whole party is clearly a disaster, and that’s going to take a lot of emotional unpacking for Toby, which I anticipate that Ian will be unwilling and frankly unable to help with.

Crankshaft, 2/7/22

True old-head Crankshaft readers remember that, years ago, there were a bunch of rowdy kids on Crankshaft’s bus who he called “the rough riders,” and one day he promised to pay for their college education if they would just shut up and leave him in peace, which they did, and which he mostly forgot about until they reminded him right before they graduated, so he cashed in his retirement savings to fulfill his vow, which I guess is why he’s still driving a bus for a living despite being a million years old. Anyway, Ed’s never been what you’d call a pious man, but in light of all that I suppose it shouldn’t be too surprising to see him beseeching whatever higher power may be to please let him have some paid time off of work, just for a day or two.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/7/22

I’ve always thought it was kind of odd that there aren’t any strongly defined recurring characters in Hagar’s warband other than Lucky Eddie, but it only occurs to me now that this is maybe because they all get killed on a regular basis and he has to find new people to replace them.

Dennis the Menace, 2/7/21

TIRED: Ha, that Dennis sure is a menace! Why won’t he leave poor Mr. Wilson in peace?
WIRED: DON’T 👏 TALK 👏 TO 👏 CHILDREN 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOUR 👏 BOWEL 👏 MOVEMENTS

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Daddy Daze, 2/6/22

It’s important to occasionally reflect on whether your actions are causing harm to others, even if that isn’t your intention or motivation. For instance, today’s Daddy Daze prompted me to consider: does the fact that I always refer to the father character in this strip as “the Daddy Daze daddy” and have never bothered to remember or research whether he has some actual name add to his sense that he’s losing his identity as part of the parenting process? In my defense, the Daddy Daze baby does have a name that is not uncommonly given in the strip, but I refuse to use it and only refer to him as “the Daddy Daze baby,” so I feel like overall I’m just being tough but fair.

Blondie, 2/6/22

“He’s having a real hard time of it, and doesn’t know where he is or where he’s going. Ha ha, he’s passed out face first into the snow! Guess I’m never going to have to return all those tools now!”

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/5/22

Just in case you need more evidence of what the typical newspaper comic-reading demographic is, the joke here is that the elderly gent they’re gossiping about caught mumps from his young bride, which is funny because mumps is a disease associated with children. Or, I guess I would say that it was associated with children until the MMR vaccine became near-universal in the early 1970s, which — and it gives me no pleasure to report this — was fifty years ago. Anyway, a fun fact that you may or may not want to think about in terms of our current epidemiological situation is that mumps traditionally was thought of as an annoying but not particularly worrisome disease that most kids got and got over, but we started developing a vaccine during World War II, when it started spreading on military transport ships and when adults caught it, it made their balls swell up real big.

Dennis the Menace, 2/5/22

Mr. Wilson’s trademarked single bead of sweat has never been so poignant. He wants to say “ass” so badly — so badly he feels like he might explode — yet something beyond his control prevents him! What kind of suffocating universe does he live in, where the release of even the mildest of curse words is forbidden to him?