Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 10/26/21

[sputtering indignantly] Martha! You completely misunderstand me! Why, I wasn’t planning on slipping this loathsome tyke a handful of barbiturates, hoping he would swallow them and quickly slip into a coma or worse! I need them for me! This is one visit from the lad too many and I’m hoping for the sweet release of death myself! Strange that you’ve lived with me for so many years but it’s as if you don’t even know me at all!

Dick Tracy, 10/26/21

Oh, so, over in Dick Tracy Diet Smith’s Time Drone exploded upon its return from a trip to the past, destroying his HQ and killing several people, and now people are mad about it. Kind of wild that this guy invented a machine capable of travelling to the past, potentially altering the fabric of the space-time continuum and also eliminating all human privacy forever, and nobody seemed to care much, but if blow up one building you get a bunch of people outside your house with signs that say “BAN TIME TRAVEL.” Hey guys, I’m pretty sure they were building bombs in that building that blew up too, just putting that out there, if you’re looking for stuff to ban!

Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/25/21

Do … do the good folks of Hootin’ Holler not know about air conditioning? The low-key single most important invention of the 20th century, which transformed the demographic geography of the United States? Do they not know that people are now free to move where they will in pursuit of good jobs, safe in the knowledge that they’ll be at least somewhat physically comfortable when they get there, working in factories or offices that would’ve simply been uninhabitable before the advent of artificial cooling? Do they not know they can leave?

Hi and Lois, 10/25/21

I really appreciate how wide-eyed Hi is with wonder in the second panel here. “Lois! I can’t feel them! I can’t feel anything! Now, what if there a way to do this … with my emotions.”

Judge Parker, 10/25/21

If Abbey gently resting her fingertips against her temple and muttering “I just can’t take it anymore, Sam” is coping, imagine what failing to cope would look like.

Post Content

Judge Parker, 10/24/21

OK, I just want to establish a few facts here. The reason Abbey is so upset is that, now that the mayor is publicly accusing her of insurance fraud, the whole town is turning against her and she got yelled at when she went up to the local Starbucks or equivalent. And yet look at what’s in our heroes’ hands: it’s Sam who’s drinking out of a paper to-go cup while Abbey is using a regular coffee mug she probably got out of the cabinet. In other words, even though she’s filthy rich, she’s happy to just drink drip coffee from the machine in her kitchen, while Sam insists that he simply must have his daily half-caf mocha frappuccino or whatever put together by a barista for $9. So, isn’t he the real villain here, for making Abbey brave the hostile public so he could get his dumb caffeine milkshake? I mean, Abbey sucks, but let’s not let that distract us from the ways that Sam also sucks.

Six Chix, 10/24/21

Keeping you up to date on “Six Chix is occasionally good in an opaque and baffling way” news: Today’s Six Chix is good, in an opaque and baffling way. Ha ha, the tunnel is full of fish! She won’t even be able to navigate her little rowboat in there, because it’s packed so full of fish! What a delight.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/24/21

“Plus people find you weird and off-putting. They don’t want to be around you and definitely don’t want you at their wedding!”