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Mary Worth, 10/6/21

Bonjour, mes amis! Eet ees your old friend Pierre here, and today I find myself in a conundrum that would baffle even my countryman Jean Baudrillard! For what, in zees strange parc chien, is real, and what is a seemulacrum? Zees fire hydrant, for instance: nowhere close to any beeldeengs, presumably not connected to zee plumbing, existing only as a wheemsical reminder of zee urban spaces zees park dwellers have rejected! Where once dogs, like people, lived in embedded in a shared urban landscape and repurposed its functional artifacts for their own uses — making water, in zee case of zee hydrants — now we reside in a suburban form, in which activities are segmented by geography, and space has been set aside only for dogs to run and peess. And yet some part of zees people, zees new breed of Homo suburbicus, longs for the city they can only deemly remember, and zo zey put up zees false fire hydrant as a sort of memento mori for a lost way of life! And zees other dog, zees lady Frenchie — uncannily like myself, as eef my very essence was captured, copied, fleeped 180 degrees, recolored, and given some feminine seegnifiers! Truly a baffling experience, like barking into a mirror! At least it is deestracting me from Weelbur’s flirting. When the man adopted me, I thought, ‘Surely I will never have to weetness this man making love to another human being,’ but I may have been meestaken! A troubling prospect, non?

Daddy Daze, 10/6/21

This may be my favorite Daddy Daze yet, in that it gets to what I believe to be the true heart of the strip, which is that the Daddy Daze daddy is in fact a sad, lonely man slipping into insanity and the Daddy Daze baby is really beside the point, except insomuch as his mother will have to care for him full time once his father goes truly around the bend. Note that in today’s strip there’s not even a pretense that the Daddy Daze baby is using his “ba” language to participate in whatever madness his father has going on.

Judge Parker, 10/6/21

Hey, remember when April went to prison? And then later, when Judge Parker senior went to prison? Well, what if everybody in this strip goes to prison, eventually?

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Hi and Lois, 10/5/21

I’m not sure when, strictly speaking, we can say that untucked shirts came into fashion, but I’m going to say that it’s been … pretty much my entire adult life? And I’m 47? Anyway, I like how absolutely thrilled Hi looks in panel one. He never thought he’d live to see the day when a man might untuck his shirttails and still retain his dignity, but that day has arrived, and his life has been transformed.

Marvin, 10/5/21

There are two big narrative problems with this strip. One is that Bitsy’s character model includes full-time collar wearing — he’s got one on in this very strip — so it’s weird for the fish to imply that it’s a potty-specific accessory. Maybe this should’ve said “leash”? Two, fish “go potty” in their own bowl, turning their very environment into a stew of their own wastes, which is surely more shameful than however you want to think about what dogs have going on this department. The thing I hate about Marvin is that it makes you think about pissing and shitting on several narrative layers at any given moment.

Pluggers, 10/5/21

Look, when pluggers are all smug about how down-homey and real-American they are, I enjoy getting riled up about it. But when they’re wracked with shame about their strange, man-animal bodies? That’s a lot less fun, in my opinion. Please, pluggers, get your act together so you may remain a worthy antagonist for me!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/5/21

Jokes on you, Grimm! That guy’s not a man at all! He’s a bird!

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Beetle Bailey, 10/4/21

I’m reasonably sure that if a soldier were running away from his commanding officer, who intended to brutally beat him, and was live-streaming the whole thing, that is the sort of thing that would go viral! Probably, uh, not in a fun way, though.

Mary Worth, 10/4/21

Wow, looks like Wilbur’s going to upgrade, lady-wise! When confronted with an ill-behaving pet, his ex was all like “Let’s talk about everybody’s feelings,” blah blah blah. But Carol offers sensible and concrete solutions, like “maybe don’t leave things out where your dog can chew on them” or “what do you mean you didn’t buy a chew toy for your dog, you utter dolt.” I think they’re gonna get along just fine!

Pluggers, 10/4/21

Everything else, though? Goes right into the landfill, even if it’s recyclable. Sometimes it doesn’t even make it into the trashcan. A lot of times pluggers just throw stuff out the window of their moving car!