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Mary Worth, 9/24/21

God damn, look at him. Look at that adorable little smooshed face! Obviously I’m not talking about Wilbur, obviously, how dare you, I’m talking about Pierre, and yes I am going to imagine his internal monologue in a hilarious French accent, and I urge you to do the same as you read the following aloud:

“Mon dieu, is zees the man who will be taking me home from zis shelter? Does he plan to make another child out of me, as a, how-you-say, substitute for his absent daughter? I am weeling to give zis a chance, because I believe he will be dropping many items of food on the floor where I can reach them, but I shall remain vigilant for trouble!”

Ahh, Pierre! Your Gallic detachment and stoicism will get you through the next few troubled months, hopefully!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/24/21

“So whaddya say? Wanna give her another li’l bonkus on the old conkus? Another round of mind-wiping? She’ll probably be fine, and then we can keep all the money from the Kitty Cop book that she won’t remember!”

Funky Winkerbean, 9/24/21

Huh, so you’re saying you want to spend … more time with your husband? Wouldn’t have been my call, I’ll say that.

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Beetle Bailey, 9/23/21

Gourmet, as I’m sure we all remember, stopped publication in 2009. Plato may subscribe to Fine Food, surely a much lesser imitation of the storied original, but he clings to the memory of a more genteel world. As his facial expression in panel two makes clear, that gets harder every day.

Blondie, 9/23/21

YOU HEAR THAT, NERDS? YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME, JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE SMART AND GOOD AT SCHOOL OR WHATEVER? WELL, YOU’RE GOING TO PRISON, YOU HEAR ME? PRISON!!!!

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Between Friends, 9/22/21

I’ve been reading and very occasionally commenting on Between Friends for a while now, and I absolutely get and accept that the titular “friends” are all women, and their jobs are extremely ill-defined white collar work of some kind, so I definitely shouldn’t expect to know what their husbands/boyfriends, who are definitely the strip’s supporting characters, do for a living. And yet I could not help but be very intrigued by what appears very much to be a coffin behind Susan’s husband in the background of panel one. That looks a lot like a coffin, right? Or, it could be something else (a closed grill, maybe?) and the colorist just thought it looked like a coffin, possibly because Susan’s husband is wearing a black suit with a pocket square and if he’s not an undertaker but just some guy standing near a grill outside during the workday, well, why is he dressed like that? Anyway, I certainly hope there’s a grieving family standing just out of frame, staring at him in increasing agitation as he loudly makes his evening plans.

Gil Thorp, 9/22/21

Good lord, Heather, reporting on Milford games on Twitter so that people can read about them as they happen instead of waiting for tomorrow’s afternoon edition to arrive on their doorstep is one thing, but are you really walking away from Coach Thorp while he’s mid-sentence to talk to one of the children who play for him? Looks like you’re about to make a powerful enemy (Coach Thorp), and just as the Hapsburgs made the seemingly unthinkable decision to ally with Bourbon France in the aftermath of the War of the Austrian Succession, so to will Gil make peace with his hereditary enemy (Marty Moon) to restore the high school sports-local media balance of power.

Barney Google, 9/22/21

Just a reminder that, canonically, Snuffy’s dad was asleep for decades (?) in the woods in a comical Rip Van Winkle-style situation, so who even knows what’s going on inside his body! Pretty weird stuff, I bet!