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Blondie, 2/21/22

You all hopefully know my strong feeling on putting a hat on a hat, which is to say combining two jokes together in a way that each of them detracts from the other. Well, I am afraid that comics are at it again, in this regard! The idea of Dithers building a golden idol to himself is … well, not funny, per se, but is a perfectly acceptable joke-like Blondie punchline. Meanwhile, the thought of Dagwood’s cranky old boss becoming obsessed with 3-D printing has the potential to be actually funny, like if we really saw him getting into it, but since we don’t, this is an Elmo wants to save his bitcoin to buy a drone-level “have you heard of this technology?” joke. Anyway, two crappy hats on top of each other don’t make a good hat. Also, is that statue gold? I’m pretty sure you can’t 3-D print with gold.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/21/22

Look, Hagar, the whole thing about being a Viking is that you sail far away from your icy Nordic home and seize loot from from the wealthier and weaker kingdoms in Europe, then come back to live high on the hog. You don’t steal from petty nobles who live on the next fjord over, and this is exactly why!

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Panels from Slylock Fox, 2/20/22

Today’s Six Differences offer an even more disturbing and nightmarish world than usual. The vision of a giant bottle containing four enormous and very much alive flies, which presumably this frog is going to somehow suck out through the nipple, is extremely disturbing to me. Plus you’ve got to take into consideration the fact that an actual baby frog would be a tadpole, so this is clearly an adult engaging in some kind of weird infantilization fetish play with the “nurse” cat. And all out in public to boot! That owl and that rabbit are absolutely correct to be angry about this.

Dustin, 2/20/22

God, look at Dustin’s dad’s hooded eyes in that final panel: he is so unpleasantly proud of himself for coming up with this bit, which I guarantee the car scammer heard exactly two words of before he realized his grift wasn’t working and hung up the phone. Dustin’s mom is loving it, though! These two deserve each other.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/20/22

I’m posting the whole strip here just so you can see the latest legally dubious plot developments, but all I want to talk about is Rene striding into this room like a king and confidently bellowing “Rene Belluso is here. Let the meeting commence!” This would absolutely set a great tone for any meeting of any sort, whether held in person or on Zoom, and I urge you to try it at the next opportunity. You can say your actual name or just say “Rene Belluso,” I’m sure either would work great.

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Crock, 2/19/22

Giant zipper running down the middle of the desert, revealing the Crock-world to be a baffling simulacrum that defies all attempts to make sense of it? Actually good — no, actually great. Best Crock ever, no notes.

Hi and Lois, 2/19/22

This is a middling joke on its own, but what makes it actually good is that you have to imagine the days and weeks of spiraling into drunken, dysfunctional madness that led up to this point.

Beetle Bailey, 2/19/22

Killer is about to get too horny and then die of a massive heart attack. To be clear, that’s actually a good thing.