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Beetle Bailey, 10/4/21

I’m reasonably sure that if a soldier were running away from his commanding officer, who intended to brutally beat him, and was live-streaming the whole thing, that is the sort of thing that would go viral! Probably, uh, not in a fun way, though.

Mary Worth, 10/4/21

Wow, looks like Wilbur’s going to upgrade, lady-wise! When confronted with an ill-behaving pet, his ex was all like “Let’s talk about everybody’s feelings,” blah blah blah. But Carol offers sensible and concrete solutions, like “maybe don’t leave things out where your dog can chew on them” or “what do you mean you didn’t buy a chew toy for your dog, you utter dolt.” I think they’re gonna get along just fine!

Pluggers, 10/4/21

Everything else, though? Goes right into the landfill, even if it’s recyclable. Sometimes it doesn’t even make it into the trashcan. A lot of times pluggers just throw stuff out the window of their moving car!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/3/21

For a brief moment, Snuffy realizes that he’s harvesting worms that he’ll use to catch fish that he’ll presumably eat, which is a little too close to productive economic activity for comfort! Fortunately, he soon turns the whole exercise into yet another opportunity to further drain his household’s rapidly diminishing resources, which is much more his speed.

Dustin, 10/3/21

I’ve gotta say, I do enjoy the few Dustins that don’t focus on the strip’s generation-war shtick. Today there’s no hint of conflict between Dustin and his dad, just a young man giving in to heavy-lidded bliss at the thought that soon he’ll be devoured by this pack of hungry raccoons and all his troubles will be over.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 10/3/21

Leroy retreats to his mind palace, imagining watching the news with his wife and seeing yet another coastal city flooded by a category 5 Hurricane Loretta, the fifth storm with that name this year. “That’s what the mall looks like when you’re done with it,” he says, as scenes of ruined homes and stores flash on the screen. And she can’t do anything about it! It’s the World Meteorological Organization in Geneva, Switzerland, that’s naming them, not him!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 10/3/21

I’m sorry, Cassandra is a cat burglar and also an actual cat, so no, I don’t think she’s going to sheepishly reappear in the lobby once she realizes she got in an elevator that only goes up. She’ll be climbing down the side of the building within minutes, or maybe just leaping from rooftop to rooftop to make her escape. The only “error” she’s made is getting those severe bangs.

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Mary Worth, 10/2/21

[At the wedding] “So she said to me, ‘Is that your Frenchie?’” [leers grotesquely, everyone is kind of uncomfortable] “And I said ‘Yes. They’re cute, aren’t they? Except for the…” [really unsettlingly long pause, leers even more grotesquely, everyone waits for it, not really sure what “it” is going to be] “CHEWING!’” [disgust rises, nobody can quite put their finger on what he’s getting at here or what this double entendre is but they can all agree it’s very gross] [there’s no cute Pierre accent jokes in this one, he’s run far, far away at this point]

Hi and Lois, 10/2/21

I love the way the first panel here emphasizes the difference in height between our two mismatched best buds. It’s as if Hi is trying to physically intimidate Thirsty into finally, after literal decades, embracing the craft brew revolution. Sorry, Hi! The whole point is to drink the beers as quickly as possible to get buzzed as quickly as possible, and you can’t do that if you have taste it.