Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 5/17/21

Look, the only time I want Dennis to say “Now he’s studyin’ for the bar” as a punchline is if he’s repeating some crack from his parents about their guest’s terrible drinking problem that he pretends he didn’t understand. But this? I honestly have no idea what this is. A true menace would maybe be running a scam where he dresses a fellow kid up in a suit and claims he’s a lawyer and dares adults to contradict him, going on a small-time reign of legal terror, but we all know Dennis doesn’t have the grit to pull off a plan like that. Anyway, this kid’s a real square-ass nerd and Dennis, the comic pages’ biggest “menace,” is his friend and real proud of him, I guess!

Gil Thorp, 5/17/21

Aw snap, today’s my favorite day of the season: when the team over at Gil Thorp HQ pulls the giant lever all the way over to “wacky!” It looks like in addition to going to high school and being on the baseball team and working odd jobs to help support his impoverished family, Zane is going to be running for the library board against his girlfriend’s dad so his girlfriend’s dad can’t put his “let’s shut down all the libraries” agenda into action. Can this be any good for his relationship, his grades, or his fastball? Probably not, but it’s good for drama, which is what I crave.

Dick Tracy, 5/17/21

Speaking of drama, just days ago someone tried to assassinate Dick and Sam’s protectee in broad daylight. But today? Today they’re going to enjoy the legitimate theater!

Post Content

Marvin, 5/16/21

I was going to go on a real sarcastic riff here about how great it was that comics were a rich, visual medium so that we could get literally seven near-identical frames of Marvin reacting to something happening that we can’t see. But then I realized: do you actually want to see two boring middle aged people arguing about the purchase of a smart speaker (brand unspecified)? That honestly doesn’t sound interesting at all, and while seven near-identical drawings of Marvin aren’t more interesting, at least I feel confident that no energy was needlessly wasted in their creation.

Blondie, 5/16/21

Guys, do you ever think Dagwood might have a serious problem? Like, he didn’t so much fall asleep as violently pitch forward out of his chair. Did he have a stroke or what?

Post Content

Mary Worth, 5/15/21

When’s the last time Mary had the mission of actually nipping a relationship in the bud? I don’t know if she ever has! Once, long ago, a lady confessed to Mary she was thinking of pursuing a married old flame and Mary was like “Sure, go for it.” I guess there was the case of Estelle and Arthur Z, but that turned out to be a catfish so I don’t know if it counts. But Dr. Drew is too close to home, literally, in that he’s Mary’s boyfriend’s son who also seems to live with him, and Mary definitely doesn’t want to have to interact with his unpleasant new “friend” when she drops by to deliver an enormous bowl of stew, so it looks like it’s time to cut Ashlee off at the pass! She’s going to work up to the big task ahead by ostracizing whoever’s coffee just got put at the far corner of her tray in panel two there. Sorry for the emotional trauma, dear, but Mary has to get limber!

Family Circus, 5/15/21

Look, Jeffy, the rule of the Keane Kompound is that if you ask whose tiny grave Daddy is digging, the next tiny grave will be for you.

Pluggers, 5/15/21

Physically exhausted? Clinically depressed? Pluggers know you don’t have to choose!