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Marvin, 5/16/21

I was going to go on a real sarcastic riff here about how great it was that comics were a rich, visual medium so that we could get literally seven near-identical frames of Marvin reacting to something happening that we can’t see. But then I realized: do you actually want to see two boring middle aged people arguing about the purchase of a smart speaker (brand unspecified)? That honestly doesn’t sound interesting at all, and while seven near-identical drawings of Marvin aren’t more interesting, at least I feel confident that no energy was needlessly wasted in their creation.

Blondie, 5/16/21

Guys, do you ever think Dagwood might have a serious problem? Like, he didn’t so much fall asleep as violently pitch forward out of his chair. Did he have a stroke or what?

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Mary Worth, 5/15/21

When’s the last time Mary had the mission of actually nipping a relationship in the bud? I don’t know if she ever has! Once, long ago, a lady confessed to Mary she was thinking of pursuing a married old flame and Mary was like “Sure, go for it.” I guess there was the case of Estelle and Arthur Z, but that turned out to be a catfish so I don’t know if it counts. But Dr. Drew is too close to home, literally, in that he’s Mary’s boyfriend’s son who also seems to live with him, and Mary definitely doesn’t want to have to interact with his unpleasant new “friend” when she drops by to deliver an enormous bowl of stew, so it looks like it’s time to cut Ashlee off at the pass! She’s going to work up to the big task ahead by ostracizing whoever’s coffee just got put at the far corner of her tray in panel two there. Sorry for the emotional trauma, dear, but Mary has to get limber!

Family Circus, 5/15/21

Look, Jeffy, the rule of the Keane Kompound is that if you ask whose tiny grave Daddy is digging, the next tiny grave will be for you.

Pluggers, 5/15/21

Physically exhausted? Clinically depressed? Pluggers know you don’t have to choose!

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Please enjoy the follow comment, deemed by me to be of the top quality!

“There is a pill for writer’s block. It’s called benzedrine and about half of the great novels of the 20th century were written with it. That said, his main audience might not be ready for an epic manic Kitty Cop on the Road or a mind-bending Three Stigmata of Kitty Cop.” –Effluvius Erratus

These other comments? Almost as funny, definitely tip-top as well!

“This is a dream right? At some point we switched from Sarah’s, unrealistic, unentertaining fantasies over to Buck’s?” –Carsick Yankee

“‘Max, what are we going to do?’ ‘As my grandfather would say, let’s pretend it’s not an immediate problem and completely ignore it!’ ‘But, Max, your grandfather is an idiot.’ ‘Yes, but somehow he’s still in charge of children’s safety. Life is funny, isn’t it?’ ‘No.’” –BigTed

“Huh. ‘I’m going after Kadaver’ is usually Dick Tracy’s euphemism for seeking out sexy time, by which he means shooting someone.” –pastordan

“The three stages of life today: Waiting for lunch, having lunch, getting shot with a blowdart.” –matt w

“I like that Dick doesn’t even try to respond to Sam’s whiny little plea, ‘But he died in Europe!‘ I’d imagine that, for sanity’s sake, Dick tunes out about 70% of what his sidekick says to him.” –Joe Blevins

“Ha ha! Lois is so blotto she’s doing her dishes in the living room! Silly Lois, you forgot why you had a plate and dishcloth in your hands, did you? She has a problem, lol!” –Tabby Lavalamp

“‘Well,’ Lois snapped, ‘if you think Heidegger’s Fundamental Concepts of Metaphysics is boring, then maybe you’re not the daughter I thought you were. We drink the wine to get drunk. The thing is the thing.’” –Voshkod

“How do you know Zero is stupid? Beetle is also a perfect marksman, but he doesn’t show it to Sarge because it is a one-way ticket to a combat zone.” –Ettorre

“The look on Marvin’s face in the third panel is truly disturbing. ‘I’ve seen worse things than a man with multiple strains of hepatitis,’ he’s thinking. ‘I’ve seen the inside of my own diaper.’” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Kitty Cop appears to be a parody of the wildly beloved Dogman series by Dav Pilkey, which features a policeman with a dog’s head who raises a cat. It didn’t occur to me that newspaper strips were allowed to be aware of anything that came about after 1998 unless it was a cell phone they could be smug pricks about.” –Bunivasal

“Wait, isn’t golf a sport that’s too ‘high-end’ for the stereotypical working-class pluggers? Let’s get this comic back to its roots by having Mr Dog Man get hit in the head with, say, a bowling ball.” –2+2=7

“Have you considered that Corina may be growling these words ferally while biting pizza to show her contempt, because she is the best Gil Thorp character?” –Dan

“A hundred million dollars says the writer guy (whose name I don’t care about) tries some EXTREMELY low level ‘supplement’ to help him get over writer’s block, becomes addicted, and has to talk to Buck about talking to a doctor and Buck (whose name I am embarrassed to admit I know) arranges for him to meet Rex Morgan MD (whose name legally has to include the MD because he didn’t spend 6 years in poorly-drawn med school, etc etc), which gives the girl (this joke has run its course) a CHANCE to meet writer guy. She won’t get to meet writer guy because Rex won’t even try to tell her about it in advance, but at least Rex will give her a one (or possibly two) word summary of his meeting with her idol.” –Briane Pagel

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