Blondie, 8/19/20
ALERT ALERT THE SYNDICATED NEWSPAPER COMIC STRIP BLONDIE HAS BECOME AWARE OF THE CONCEPT OF “INFLUCENCERS,” THREAT LEVEL ALPHA, REPEAT, THREAT LEVEL ALPHA
Beetle Bailey, 8/19/20
ALERT ALERT BEETLE BAILEY’S “MISS BUXLEY WEDNESDAY” HAS BECOME DANGEROUSLY HORNY
Curtis, 8/19/20
ALERT ALERT CURTIS’S FACE IS BECOMING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE REPEAT DANGEROUSLY CLOSE ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT
Crock, 8/18/20
Crock is in perpetual reruns now, and it’s hard to tell when exactly any given strip was composed, which is fine when they’re making light-hearted jokes about the grueling century-long French colonial occupation of Algeria, but can get wonky when the strip tries to grapple with “current events.” Like, I guess this dates from the period (the ’90s, I think?) where Wal-Mart’s rapid expansion to retail dominance was noteworthy instead of just a historical footnote to the transition to Amazon’s stranglehold on all commerce. Anyway, I’m not quite sure what the joke here is supposed to be. Is Grossie waiting by the sign with her cart a “women be shopping” gag, which misses the fact that the gag is specifically about shopping as a high-end indulgence and doesn’t really work if it’s “women be shopping for low-priced daily necessities”? Or is her knowing grin just supposed to convey something like “Eh? Eh? Capitalism? Eh?”
Funky Winkerbean, 8/18/20
This massive wildfire may have displaced hundreds of thousands of people, but at least it’s giving Marianne a chance to really understand what it was like to be married to Les, an opportunity that she surely regrets so, so much.
Daddy Daze, 8/18/20
Is he … is he afraid his son will eventually want to have sex with a brain? Is that the joke here?
The Phantom, 8/18/20
Did … did the Phantom murder or terrorize a couple of waitresses so his daughter and her friend could have a job that earned them a little pocket money? Is that the joke here?
Marvin, 8/18/20
Ha ha, it’s funny because Marvin’s poops are more deadly than a unprecedented worldwide pandemic!
Family Circus, 8/17/20
As a professional comics curmudgeon, my ethics dictate that I must acknowledge when one of the comics I usually dump on is good, and folks: this Family Circus is a good one. The irony of Jeffy’s t-shirt proclaiming that he’s a happy camper as he experiences a comically overwrought meltdown is great, of course, but my favorite thing is just how chill Dolly is. She’s usually the family snitch and would love nothing more than to narc on Jeffy for throwing a tantrum, but look at her: She’s wearing her shades and her casual camping clothes. She’s on vacation, just like she’s trying to explain to her brother. It’s not the time for this, Jeffy! You’re free! You don’t have to be like your usual dumb self here!
Hi and Lois and Daddy Daze, 8/17/20
Meanwhile, I’ve quite rightly never been left in charge of an infant for any length of time, but these strips both seem to depict … pretty good ways to suffocate your infant? Are these scenes bad for infants, health wise? Sound off in the comments on infant safety around huge piles of clothes or stuffed animals or whatever.