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Mark Trail, 7/10/20

Wow, this hotshot Hollywood producer clearly does not respect her himbo movie star boyfriend’s intellectual capabilities or ability to focus on consecutive sentences within a conversation at all, does she? “Jeremy, honey, [plausible-sounding justification for visiting Mark Trail]!” “And that’s why you set up a public meeting with me and Mr. Trail?” “Yes, I think it would be a good idea for [plausible-sounding justification for visiting Mark Trail that’s entirely different from the one she just floated like 15 seconds earlier]!”

Beetle Bailey, 7/10/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because Beetle suffered a traumatic brain injury!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/10/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because Sheriff Tait broke his hand punching Snuffy in the face!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/9/20

Look, Loweezy, it’s not his fault. Hootin’ Holler is trapped in amber right on the cusp between a subsistance farming society where most trade occurs via barter and a money-based economy tied into the larger world. The very idea of currency is unimaginably exciting to Snuffy, and because this is a comic strip where time is frozen, he’s never going to get over it.

Hi and Lois, 7/9/20

Hey, everyone, remember the participation trophies millennials got and it warped their minds, somehow, according to angry paragraph-long posts I saw on Facebook? Well, they’re giving them to the next generation too, except we can’t actually afford trophies anymore, so they’re even worse. America is doomed!

Six Chix, 7/9/20

After some deliberation, I’ve decided I like this one. Do you think we’re supposed to recognize the tune he’s singing? Whatever, he’s a squirrel singing about nuts! What more do you want out of life?

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Daddy Daze, 7/8/20

Not that there’s much competition, but Daddy Daze Daddy’s Goth Pal is far and away my favorite recurring Daddy Daze character. Like, Daddy Daze Daddy (he has a name, but my brain refuses to retain it and honestly I respect that) has been driven into some kind tight-wound gleeful mania by the pressures of single parenthood, but Goth Pal is always looking on the darkest side of life possible, like he is today, when he mournfully announces that those who have chosen to reproduce are carefully nurturing their own destruction. It’s been foretold in prophecy, but like Cronus in Greek myth, we cannot avoid our fate, no matter how hard we try.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/8/20

Hey, remember how Rex was telling the story about how he and June met to Sarah but he was telling it all boring so June seized control of the narrative? Well, now the plot has moved to a place where June wasn’t even there to see it happen but, uh, we’re just moving forward anyway. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m more heavily invested in the layered narrative structure of a syndicated soap opera comic strip plot than anyone involved in the actual production of said comic strip, but I’m still pretty mad about it.