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Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/17/19

I definitely could see a bunch of ways that a dog could break a tooth while robbing a bank (though to be frank almost all of them involve him biting someone), but I think there might be more to it here. Dirty Dog is, for those of you who don’t want to flip your screen upside down, in disguise as an anteater, a toothless species that would have no reason to go to the dentist. You’d think that “in disguise” would mean that he just has a fursuit on, but that bandage far down his “snout” indicates a genuine injury where there shouldn’t be one. Presumably he’s spent most of the day undergoing the horrific surgery necessary to transform his appearance from one species to another. It’s honestly a wonder that the toothache is his only problem.

Curtis, 11/17/19

Ha ha, oops, Curtis accidentally texted Michelle referring to her “yellow teeth,” making her angry! He had intended to refer to her “stellar teeth,” and how the food he was going to buy her would give her a chance to “show [them] off,” just a totally normal and non-creepy thing that any girl would be excited to read in a text from a boy. “Girl, I want everyone to know how well you can chew, don’t hide your light — specifically, the light glinting off your teeth — under a bushel!” That’s some extremely effective flirting that will get you far with the ladies.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/16/19

Parson Tuttle is of course a grifter and mostly biblically illiterate, but even he knows that a Christian clergyman is supposed to espouse a pacifistic attitude. Sadly, Tuttle is out of his theological depth once you get past these rote, borrowed pieties, and is unable to help his congregants figure out how to live a Christ-like life in an unforgiving society dominated by vicious blood feuds over long-forgotten offenses against family honor.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/16/19

Aww, Ralph and Grimm had a friend named Rocko, but he died, of heart disease! That’s … that’s the joke?

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Comment of the week? Comment … of the week!

“Sure, the rhythm is important — like my Pappy used to say, ‘KA-WHACK before WHACK, that gator’ll be back’ — but it’s all just wasted effort without a hearty ‘Get out of here!’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

Runners up? Also very funny!

“It’s kind of weird that Wilbur brought up his Matrix fandom as a way of proving he’s young and hip. He could have mentioned a popular movie that’s in theaters now — say, Joker — although the idea of a sad middle-aged loser who’s driven crazy by his anger at the world might hit just a little too close to home. Then there’s Doctor Sleep, about a sad middle-aged loser who’s driven crazy by… on second thought, maybe they should discuss music instead. I bet Garth Brooks is a favorite of both Wilbur and Zak’s dad!” –BigTed

“Is Zak an android? All he does during these trying situations is to smile. Is this how he manages his company? ‘You’re fired! [with big grin]’” –Government Cheese

“People reading the strip now weren’t around to read those WWII strips, so we are free to place Snuffy’s military service in any era we choose, ignoring the fact that for most of the strip’s history Snuffy has been shown fighting in armed conflict against agents of the US Government, especially the Treasury Department.” –seismic-2

“Dennis, get out of there and let the poor man enjoy his box of electric picture frames in peace.” –Peanut Gallery

“Visually, the saddest thing about today’s strip is Wilbur’s disheveled combover, which he had spent so much time meticulously styling before he started fortifying himself with ‘liquid courage.’ In a way, the combover is symbolic of Wilbur himself: At its worst, it looks terrible; at its best, it’s not going to impress any ladies in the least; and in the final analysis, it’s probably best to keep it covered up as much as possible.” –Guy Lumbago

“I think the Howells are about to be tried in a far higher court than ours. King Triton is a vindictive mofo, I’m trying to say, and I hear he still holds a grudge about how Ariel was treated by the humans shortly after the credits rolled.” –Ubiquitous Bob

“You know what’s really sad? Estelle will forever associate Zak and Iris as ‘Wilbur’s friends,’ while Zak and Iris will classify Estelle as ‘Wilbur’s girlfriend’. You have a source of suffering in common! It is a sound foundation of solidarity and brotherhood!” –Ettorre

“Which animal has the shortest lifespan? Whichever one makes the mistake of getting picked up for a drunk-and-disorderly in the upper east side of the Forest Kingdom. You can tell by the look on the cop’s face that this bear will be having a tragic mishap while ‘resisting arrest.’” –jroggs

“Estelle has spicy diarrhea, which made her think of Wilbur. It’s a little unfair to compare the two, because the decision that lead to the former would have been at least briefly enjoyable.” –Rosstifer

“Nothing makes a plugger wife unhappier than to know her husband is happy. Nothing makes a plugger husband happier than to know his wife is unhappy. The Circle of Life, Plugger Style!” –Only Here For The Ads

“Mary Worth could have put an Elder sign on that door. They could have used the Yellow Sign, and had the door open to grim Carcosa, where the King in Yellow awaits brooding. They could have revealed Wilbur’s true form, a shoggoth wearing human clothes. They could have given up Mary’s great secret, that she is ageless in mind and form, that she has been and always will be, that she advised pharaohs and darkling gods. But no. They’re just going to give us some old woman’s anxiety dream. Thanks for nothing.” –Voshkod

“This works better if you imagine it as the start to a very specific cuck fantasy.” –Rube

“I like that Estelle’s unconscious mind assumes that Wilbur reproduces parthenogenetically, like some kind of big dorky amoeba. I mean, it’s plausible.” –pugfuggly

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