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Mark Trail, 2/26/20

Good news, everyone! The internet isn’t just for losers who try to chase social media fame, only to die tragically. You can also learn facts about wildlife and cultures (cultures are the wildlife of people!) around the world. Looks like I don’t have to shut down this blog after all. What a relief! Please do not fatally pursue online fame in my comments.

Gasoline Alley, 2/26/20

Wow, Baleen is really shaking things up here at Corky’s Diner! Letting customers know the operating hours? Using the written word as a medium? What will she think of next???

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Mary Worth, 2/25/20

Remember, folks: Mary is never not being passive aggressive, and while normally we’d expect something sarcastic about what a shitty job Dawn did on the scarf, as near as I can tell she actually did a pretty good job on the scarf, so Mary’s got to take a different tack. Personally, I would’ve gone with “How lovely, and such a wonderful gift for me, an inhabitant of Southern California, where it’s almost always warm,” but Mary is upping her game and apparently implying that knitting is a great outlet for your sexual energy now that you’re not able to spend all your time fornicating, an activity that frankly is quite audible through the regrettably thin Charterstone walls, dear.

Funky Winkerbean, 2/25/20

Oh, huh, I guess yesterday’s Funky Winkerbean literally didn’t have a joke at all, but rather just existed to set up today’s “joke,” which is that Funky missed the exciting overtime period in the basketball game, because he stepped out of the living room just long enough to pour some hot chocolate. This seems odd, since both NBA and NCAA basketball overtime periods last a full five minutes of playing time — and obviously longer in real time — so we have to ask: does Funky Winkerbean think basketball overtime is played as sudden death, with the first team scoring winning? Have they set up possibly a full week of jokes predicated on a misunderstanding about the very thing they’re joking about? Stay tuned!

Six Chix, 2/25/20

Are Christians more likely to pray around Christmas? Or is the implication here that this lady is praying to Santa?

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Funky Winkerbean, 2/24/20

There are some days when I deliberately misconstrue the obviously intended meaning of a comic strip for comedic effect, but then there are others where I just … genuinely … don’t get the joke. Today is one of them! I don’t get the joke in Funky Winkerbean! My only clue is that every joke in Funky Winkerbean is about how we’re all dying, just some of us more quickly than others, so … maybe it’s that the Winkerbeans are too old to drink beer while watching sports anymore so now they’re drinking hot chocolate instead? Feel free to point out how I’m obviously wrong, in the comments, I’m dying to know what’s up here!

Pluggers, 2/24/20

Say what you will about the art in Pluggers, but I think this drawing of the cat-plugger has nicely captured the facial expression of someone on the nonconsensual receiving end of a long, rambling anecdote who has no obvious exit strategy.

Mark Trail, 2/24/20

Speaking of nicely captured facial expressions, Mark is definitely wearing the frozen mask here of someone who expected to get a lot less pushback from his family about the mildly annoying guy that he left to die in the harsh Himalayan foothills. “I don’t know for sure, Cherry,” Mark says, “but he sure posted a lot on Instagram! Isn’t that the real story here?”