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Mary Worth, 7/8/19

So I guess we’re really getting a Dawn plot, huh? Well, we all know there’s only one kind of Dawn plot, and that’s a story about her weird, sad romantic life. Whether she’s catching her boyfriend two-timing her at the stables, moping on the couch for weeks after being dumped, having an all-consuming but ostensibly platonic relationship with one of her professors, or finding out her new boyfriend is married to somebody else, the combination of Dawn and love can only mean one thing: pain. That’s why it’s appropriate that this summer’s romance starts with Dawn and her inevitable inamorato slamming into each other at full speed and presumably breaking a rib or two in the process.

Mark Trail, 7/8/19

You know, I always thought one of the big pluses of having a gun is that you don’t have to come up with some elaborate personal backstory or emotional arc to explain why you’re going to take what you want by force. You can just threaten to shoot them if they don’t give it to you! No need to get into interest rates on small business loans or whatever!

Pluggers, 7/8/19

I don’t want to tell Pluggers how to do their job, but I do think that once your caption hits four lines of text, it’s gotten a little too specific.

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Blondie, 7/7/19

I know that it’s in the throwaway panels, but it bothers me so much that the “dental checkup” angle here never becomes part of the joke or is otherwise followed up on. He could’ve just said something about being late for a generic appointment. But now it’s a Chekov’s Gun that will never go off, lurking on the wall of my mind indefinitely. How are Dagwood’s teeth? How are Dagwood’s teeth, damn it! Is there something funny about them???

Funky Winkerbean, 7/7/19

I really enjoy Cindy’s smug smile in the final panel here. “You’re catching on, kid. Technology doesn’t really change anything: people are awful to each other and they always have been. The human race is fundamentally rotten and it’ll be good when we’re all dead!”

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Mark Trail, 7/6/19

I gotta say, as Things You Could Be Mad At Mark Trail About go, getting mad that he gets to take exotic vacations on the company dime and writes maybe three stories a year is pretty good! It’d be a little more realistic if this complaint weren’t coming from JJ, the proprietor of a well-stocked and presumably highly profitable outdoorwear and mining equipment retailer, but rather from some poor underpaid content producer jealous of Mark’s cushy staff job. “I write three to five hot takes a week on breaking news and I get paid $150 a pop,” the embittered web drone would say, thrusting the gun in Mark’s direction. “I’m a contractor and don’t get health insurance! They don’t have fact checkers and if I get something wrong they hang me out to dry! How dare you, sir!”

Funky Winkerbean, 7/6/19

Jess and Cindy are doing research for their documentary about Butter Brinkel by … watching a documentary about Butter Brinkel? Have they considered just telling people there’s a documentary they can watch that’s already been made? Someone went through all the trouble of putting it together and everything.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/6/19

“Maybe, but it seems like it’d be a lot of work, so, you know, enh. What do you wanna do for dinner?”