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Blondie, 10/11/19

A little something about me, folks: I have plantar fasciitis and various hip/lower/back/hamstring problems, which means that shoes that don’t work exactly right for me can cause me a lot of cumulative physical discomfort. Right now pretty much the only shoes I wear that aren’t dress shoes (and thank goodness I barely ever have to wear dress shoes) are these bad boys from Keen plus their sandal equivalent, both of which I own in multiple colors at any given time. And so while to my eyes Dagwood’s shoes look wildly uncomfortable, I respect the fact that he spotted the grey version of the brown shoes he always wears on sale and immediately snapped them up.

Family Circus, 10/11/19

Here’s another little something about me: I’m a huge baby about horror movies and thus almost never watch them, but I do like to read the plot descriptions of the really popular ones on Wikipedia, where, stripped of the filmmaking arts, they just come off as vaguely ridiculous. Anyway, based on the Wikipedia plot summary of 2018’s Hereditary (and, uh, spoilers ahead for a year-old film, I guess), Billy’s “trouble” is that he was supposed to be the human host for an ancient demon worshipped by a coven led by his grandmother, but the evil spirit was implanted in Jeffy instead, which quite honestly explains quite a lot.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/11/19

This is kind of Linda to say, but of course Buck already knew. They had already expressed deep intimacy the only way Funkyverse characters know how: by engaging in awful wordplay together.

Mary Worth, 10/11/19

“Look, Estelle, are you expecting emotional fulfillment from a heterosexual relationship with a man? You think I’m happy with Dr. Jeff? I barely even like Dr. Jeff. Now get out there and become Wilbur’s girlfriend, for the love of Christ.”

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Mary Worth, 10/10/19

OK, uh, Mary, remember how Wilbur just like, what, six months ago in strip time completely lost his mind in a jealous rage over his ex? His ex who he had dumped for his scam girlfriend (wait: have Wilbur and Estelle talked about their history of being scam victims yet????) and then became enraged when it turned out she had moved on? I’m not sure if Mary genuinely thinks those are just “endaring quirks” or if in fact is losing her interest in interfering in Estelle and Wilbur’s lives. It’s like she knows they aren’t right together but just wants them safely paired off so she can stop worrying about them. And that has me worried about Mary. When she’s lost her zest for meddling, that means something’s seriously wrong and she needs to be evaluated for depression or worse.

Mark Trail, 10/10/19

Oh, snap, it looks like our heroes were spending so much time making sure they weren’t attacked by fake, made-up animals that they forgot to guard against endangered but still very real animals! Thank goodness the Cryptozoology Department at whatever college gave Dr. Camel tenure picked up the tab for rental car insurance this time around, because otherwise Woods and Wildlife reporters on assignment would be taking a lot of Lyft rides in the future.

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Funky Winkerbean, 10/9/19

“Anyway, now that he’s dead, I feel more free to tell everyone what an asshole he was. That’s how this works, right?”

Family Circus, 10/9/19

MOMMY [with one leg out the window, under her breath with her eyes closed in frustration]: damn it damn it damn it damn it

Pluggers, 10/9/19

WOW SOUNDS LIKE PLUGGERS CAN’T DEAL WITH THE OVERWHELMING SET OF CONSUMER CHOICES GENERATED BY CONTEMPORARY CAPITALISM

WHY DON’T YOU GO BACK TO SOVIET RUSSIA AND WAIT IN LINE FOR SOME UNFLAVORED ICE MILK, YOU WEIRD OLD DOG-MAN