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Dustin, 3/10/24

Hey kids, let Grandpa Josh tell you about the Do-Not-Call List! Starting in the mid ’00s in the United States, you could put your phone number on a list and it became simply illegal for telemarketers to call you! It wasn’t a perfect system — political fundraisers successfully sued to be exempted for First Amendment reasons, for instance — but it immediately eliminated a huge percentage of unwanted phone calls, and, combined with increasingly widespread caller ID features, made using the phone a much more pleasant experience. Unfortunately, this paradise only lasted a few years, and by the ’10s people figured out that they could bypass the list, using voice-over-internet technology to make phone calls ostensibly “from” U.S. numbers even though they could originate anywhere in the world. Since these calls are all illegal, there are no legit telemarketers anymore, so people’s phones are bombarded by scam after scam. Old people who remember a world where phone calls were a useful form of communication still answer and get bamboozled, while younger people who grew up with other ways to connect find the scams yet another reason to think of talking on the phone as a repellent act and are wont to simply never answer a phone call.

Anyway, my point is that Dustin is a product of the immediate aftermath of the 2008 financial crisis, and while usually you can tell because its central conceit is based on a world of high youth unemployment that simply no longer exists, there are other clues that all of its action takes place 15 years ago, such as an ostensible early twentysomething knowing what a “Do-Not-Call List” is.

Dick Tracy, 3/10/24

I will admit that I have not been following this Dick Tracy/Little Orphan Annie crossover very closely, so I don’t remember if Dick has already interacted with these two undercover kidnappers, but it would be very funny if he hasn’t. “As far as he’s concerned, we’re just the dumb housekeepers!” [Later, Dick sees them for the first time] “Warbucks, don’t worry about these two people waving guns at us. They’re just the dumb housekeepers! Which you can tell by, uh, just look at them. It’s fine. They’re probably using the guns for cleaning purposes.”

Hi and Lois, 3/10/24

I gotta say, if you asked me to come up with the meanest possible parody answer to the question of “What would a legacy newspaper cartoonist say was their favorite part of Daylight Savings Time,” it would 100% absolutely be “Hooray, an extra hour for more golf!”

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Shoe, 3/9/24

The bird-people of Shoe generally have two emotional registers: horrified and very depressed. So I’m pleased that Shoe has discovered a third one, even though it’s apoplectic rage. The Perfesser has mostly slept through it, but it’s still an important step.

Pardon My Planet, 3/9/24

Not sure what’s worse here: that Pardon My Planet doesn’t know what socialism is, or that Pardon My Planet doesn’t know why that piggy was going to market.

Gil Thorp, 3/9/24

Gil has tried a lot of tactics for getting his student-athletes to improve their performance — coaching them, not coaching them, coaching them but real half-assed, getting other people to coach them for him, and so forth. But it turns out that the best technique of all is to simply exude the pleasant vibes that can only be created by sexual satisfaction.

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It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby, and that means it’s time for the comment of the week!

“It looks like they’re playing Grawlix Theft Auto.” –taig

Your runners up are also fantastic!

“It’s a dull old town when the most exciting date you can have is watching a mouse dig a hole.” –MKay

“‘See the movie A Christmas Story’? I’m pretty sure one of the basic rules of live theater is that you don’t make recommendations to the audience about better things they could be watching right now in the comfort of their own homes.” –Peanut Gallery

“I just noticed that Dustin is slightly smiling in panel 2, and nowhere else. I wonder if he heard the car coming, smiled, and walked onto the street on purpose, finally hoping to end it all. Makes the last panel more poignant. ‘Uneventful, as usual. No one will ever free me from the hell that is my life.’” –JamesBont

“The cold temperature of the fridge slows down the multiplication of the lice. We’ve never seen an oxpecker in Pluggers, have we?” –lynn

“Of course Mary can read about increasing climate change-related disasters, multiple regional conflicts with global implications, and the rising specter of authoritarianism and go ‘Ha-ha, crazy world we live in, amirite?’ None of it will ever touch her; the worst that will happen is Wilbur making a fool of himself during the wildfire pre-evacuation.” –TheDiva

“Gizmo is cutting edge. In these days of network breaches and software hacks, a password manager would be vulnerable. But nobody’s going to get Gizmo’s big book o’ passwords without first gaining physical access to a military installation. Now, that military installation just happens to be Camp Swampy, so he probably might as well just store them in plain text on a Google Sheet.” –richard8

“Regardless of what’s happening in today’s Dennis the Menace, they seem to have gotten their money’s worth from whoever had to color in Alice’s floral pattern shirt.” –nescio

“In light of his eating habits, it’s scary to imagine what morsels get caught between Dagwood’s teeth. Herring bones, apple seeds, bits of aluminum foil. Flossing him would be like cleaning the slot in one’s kitchen between the refrigerator and the countertop.” –Tom T.

“I assumed there was an anagram hidden in Keith Hillend’s name, like Aldo Kelrast’s. Sadly, ‘Kill, Then Hide’ never became part of the story, as exciting as it sounds.” –astroboy

“Mark Trail apparently does not eat Jello. That’s OK; I never expected him to. After dinner he goes out and forages for berries and tree sap.” –seismic-2

“‘No, I’m serious. I recently watched an NHK documentary on how the cherry blossoms now regularly start about ten days to two weeks earlier than what used to be normal just 50 years ago, due to climate change.’ ‘I see, so even these flowers, which normally recall thoughts of springtime and new growth, are harbingers of a lurking menace that will destroy life as we know it in karmic retribution for humanity’s own folly and selfishness … much like my neighbor, Keith Hillend!’” –one other spoon

“The Mayor of Gasoline Alley, like most Americans, isn’t in the habit of checking in with any of the main characters of Gasoline Alley. In fact, that may be what qualifies her most to be a leader of these rubes.” –Philip

“Billy gets those comics with the black dotted lines that show his easily distracted journey through his home or neighborhood. We don’t get those for Jeffy because it would just be a couple of straight lines from the precarious chair to the floor to the hospital.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Tomorrow on The Family Circus: ‘Why do they call it lime disease, Mommy? Because it makes me feel sour?’” –Voshkod

“Imagine you’re kissing someone, they’re running their hand through your hair. Then you look up and see they’re wearing a bright purple glove on their left hand only, as Gil is in panel 2. Psycho behavior.” –Schroduck

“Once again, this strip doesn’t seem to deliver a punchline per se, just another disgusting scenario for us to consider. Hey, did you know that Marvin is dirty and stinks? Stinks of excrement and other filth, I’ll bet.” –pugfuggly

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